Im Unique, I'm Not A Follower Or A Leader

Yep, my title's right. I'm a unique person, not only a unique young Mummy but also unique in person. I don't follow nor do I lead, call me an out cast and I'll call me unique. You might wonder why I'm writing this, 2 reason's really, after browsing a few other young mum's blogs I come across a lot of not your average stereo typical teenage mother, I'm still with my child's father and little nitty comment's like that, and it UPSET me.

I met Spud's father when I was 13, I fell pregnant at 15 and had Spud a month before my 16th birthday. Yes me and Spud's father broke the law, the law is made up of load's of rules, some I will never understand mind you. Any way, who follows rules? I mean hand on heart can you honestly say you've always followed the rules? If you have then good for you, if you have not then welcome to the crew, where a  majority of people worldwide break rules. If that rule wasn't broken my Spud would not be here, so out of all the rules I've broken in my life, this is one I would never regret.

I was in a relationship with Spud's father for just over 5 year's, after taking him back after previous time's of playing away, and one resulting in Spud having a sibling 5 month's older then him I finally ended the relationship on my 18th birthday when my party was ruined, I'd had enough. So NO I'm not your average stereo typical teenage mother, I'm not with my child's father, but does that make me a bad mother? Put that statement across to me and I would argue until the day you give up that I am far from that.

My child is cared for, he's fed, he's clothed, he's clean, he's bathed, he's warm, he has appropriate toys for his age, he has freedom, he has a good healthy diet and most of all, he is respected, valued and loved for unconditionally. I may not have got to see the side of life other young girl's my age live, clubbing, girly holidays, cinema and Nando's whenever I fancied but I wouldn't change my life for anything.

So next time you judge another young mum and say just another typical one, she's not with the father, please remember my story. I was not to of known I was going to get lied too and cheated on, should I of stayed with him? Ruining my confidence and trust? I did for 5 year's, and I am thankful to him for giving me my son, and that is all he ever really gave me that was positive. Psychology has proven it is better for parents to separate in difficult times instead of living a lie to protect children from becoming hurt, children can sense problems. I am now happier then I have ever been. I am not physic, I was not to know I was going to get cheated on, so yes I am not your average stereo typical teenage mother.

I am unique.

Here is a picture of my living room, it reads 'Mothers hold their children's hands for awhile... their hearts forever' with pictures of me and Spud around it.


I was going to post this yesterday as I see a lot of blog's take part in Silent Sunday but after seeing the rules, this picture didn't fit, hence why I never posted the picture yesterday, reason number 2. I'm not saying I will never take part in the Silent Sunday scheme, it's just this photo was not taken in the week and your not even aloud wording in the title, so for now I'll give it a pass and maybe have my own silent Sunday by not posting full stop! After all as a Christian the 7th day is a day of rest? I'm not preaching and nor shall I plan on mentioning religion on my blog any time in the near future. All religions are welcome here. My online home.

Until next time,
Jade

9 comments

  1. I'm so sorry you've been made to feel this way love :( I know I put on a post once "I've been with the same man since I was 16" when talking about being a young Mum,but I never meant it as "I'm a better Mummy" or any of that- I meant I'd been called a slag because I'm a young Mummy and I don't see how I could be a slag for sleeping with the same one person I ever have slept with? But please don't feel upset hun, you're such a good Mum, you can see that easily on your blog how much Spud means to you and you do a lot for him- I don't think that rings true of this "Young Mummy" stereotype that we're all lazy, don't pay attention to our kids, scrounging etc- I've been stereotyped so much and it hurts :( But we know we're good Mum's, so we should just ignore the judgmental people!
    Ash xxx

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  2. Hi Ashleigh, please don't apologise you have not done anything wrong, I think your an amazing Mummy *Hugs*. I would of done the exact same in your shoe's as I was with Spud's father for 5 years and ahem cough cough, the faithful one.

    It did upset me reading some of the blog's today, I havnt followed any of them on Google and if I'm following them on Twitter as soon as I can I wont be anymore, as a young mum themselves, they should know how it feels to be stereo typed just like me and you!

    And even in my about me section I have I'm not your average stereo typical teenage mother, and by that I mean the one's who do it for a place to live for themselves and their friends to party the ones who do it for the money, not proper ones like me and you!

    Thank you Ashleigh, means alot. Your such a lovely person and a great Mummy xxx

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  3. *sending you huge hugs*

    I'm not a Mum and I can't understand at all what it must be like for you, but I know people who are young single Mum's some are fantastic Mum's, there children could not ask for better, they have all the need, and all the love and so much more they could ever ask for. I also knew (we don't speak anymore) one bad young Mum she is the one that fits into all the stereo types and she's the one that will always be remembered by most people and that's sad.

    We stereo type so many sets of people, and it's wrong a lot of stigma's need breaking - but it's a slow process, people speaking out like you are here helps a lot though, and hopefully one day people will realise not everyone is the same.

    Anyway sorry for the ramble I hope it makes set - from being on the other end of stereotyping it's something that gets me on my high horse. Thank you so much for popping by my blog Life in a Break Down I'm following you back now, and really look forward to interacting with you more..

    I promise not to rant so much next time :)
    xx

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  4. Thank you Sarah *hug back*. Sadly there are a lot of young Mum's out there who very sadly give every other young Mum's a bad name, I've had horrible stares and comment's thrown at me before, the worse is when I've been with Spud and he has had to witness the horrid mind's of these people, and I've had to stay strong when I just wanted to cry.

    That's true, we do as a nation stereo type a lot of people, and I agree the stigma does need breaking. Thank you hun, I just hope one day we will live in a world where everyone is accepted.

    That's ok hun all comments are welcome on my blog, It's nice to see people actually do read my post =) Thank you for following I look forward to reading more from you.

    That's ok you can rant on all you like =D

    Jade xx

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  5. hiya, thanks for following my blog, i was following yours and now im following on twitter too. what a great post. i was 19 when my little man was born and i was treated terribly by everyone because i was a young mum. my sister was a young mum and stuck with her partner for 14years before she realised enough was enough and the mental torture couldn't not continue, she only wished she had done it earlier, but she thought she was doing the right thing by staying, but it was right for no one. you did the right thing, you thought about your little man 1st which no matter about age, a good mum always puts there children 1st. Just because there are some idiots out there that dont look after there children (and some are teen mothers, but not all, mothers of all ages can be bad!) we all get tarnished with the same brush, but you only have to read the blogs of young mummy's to see no one is the same, were all different and were all good mums to our children :)
    on the silent sunday front, i didn't realise there was rules? if so i never stick to them. what a lovely picture, love what you have done on your wall, looks fab x x

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  6. Hiya Leopard Print Mommy, thank you for following me on here and Twitter =)

    Nice to hear from a fellow young mummy, sorry to hear that, another story from yet another young mum who has been subject to horribleness, I wish we could all stop it, but sadly there is always going to be someone out there who cant see others happy!

    Sorry to hear about your sister, I'm glad she's been able to get out though, everyone make's mistakes and we hopefully learn from them for future reference. Sadly a lot of families do stick together for the child/children's sake but sadly it doesn't fool anyone, children pick up on the vibe and know something is not right, I hope she's happier now *hugs*.

    Thank you hun and in relation to 'bad mothers' I agree, any one can be a bad mother, just because of the person's age it doesn't automatically make them a bad parent!

    Silent Sunday - neither did I hun until I clicked on a linky and read the rules!

    My wall - Thank you, It was printed wonky hence why it look's wonky, we put the transfer on the wall straight using a level peeled the backing off and was left with that but I still love it! xx

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  7. Me n my wife got together at 13. Our eldest was born 3 months after my 15th birthday. we r now married, jobs, paying taxes etc n have two kids. the crap u get wen young is unbelievable. I hear people slating others that have kids young then point out my position...soon shuts them up

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    1. Well done Richard, some people are horrid, think because we are young we are scroungers and wrongens.

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  8. We are delighted to let you know that this post has been nominated in the ‘Most Inspirational’ post category of the SWAN UK Blog Post Awards (aka The ‘SWANS’)

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