Dear Dad

This post is dedicated to my amazing Father, tear's already well in my eyes as I expect this post to get emotional. Happy Birthday Dad, another year older but not a clue to suggest it, here's to another joyous and loving year, may you have a fantastic day, because if one man out there deserve's it, it's you Dad, and I honestly mean that from the bottom of my heart. Your always there for me and Spud, but not only us, the whole family, your other 5 children and other 5 grandchildren. Some would argue coming from a bigger then average family the parents would have favorites  not with you Dad, we all know you love us all equally, my amazing Dad.

A Very Big Premature Me & You, My Amazing Father.

My amazing Father, where on earth do I start, I could write a book about you Dad, I'm crying whilst writing this, tear's dropping onto my freshly washed hair, but tonight Dad, I don't care. It's happy tear's Dad, I don't even know why I'm crying, I couldn't have a bad word to say about you apart from the rabbit pie lol. Your always there for me, you never get mad, no matter what I do. I come to live with you when I was young, around 9 year's old if I can remember rightly, of course I missed Mum terribly, but the transition seemed easy, we lived on the boat at first, school friends would call me and Jamie 'Rosie and Jim' and would listen to our stories with mouth's wide open. I remember when I was at primary school and you brought in loads of the boat stuff, kind of like a show and tell stand, the whole year and every teacher would admire the beautiful pieces there eyes were settled on, I'd watch their every move, every finger that touched your property, telling myself if anything got ruined I'd go mad. 

I remember being a quiet child if I can remember rightly, maybe I got mischievous and gobby sometimes, but overall I remember being good, I remember the school reports and school evenings, how proud you'd be as the teacher would inform and update you on my work and behavior. I loved junior school, I was in a beautiful school out of the way, one that was respected and religious, the regular Church visit's was something all the pupil's looked forward too, including me. You'd take us along to the school fayre's, the school dance's and Christmas parties, always one to join in the fun when parent's were asked todo a tug of war you was always on of the first to put your hands up.

Me and Jamie never went without, you worked hard, you slept minimum and had very little time for yourself, any time you had off work was spent whisking me and Jamie (as the other's were all older) to Legoland, Chesington or Thorpe Park, when the other's had time off work, they'd come along too. You've always been a family man, I watch your expressions when we're all together, growing rapidly it may seem, you still invite us into your home with as much love as the days we was born. I know I couldn't possibly remember my new born days, or maybe even memories before the age of 3, I do however know I was brought up, showered with love always.

Your 6 Grandsons, Your Still Waiting For Your Dolly.

When I stated this blog, you listened to me every day for the first few months, you even came along to Disney HQ in London for my first event, I'm glad me and Spud shared the day with you, because I know your really pleased for me, your happy and proud. My biased Father who always tells me I'm beautiful. I could have no make up on, or even make up that is looking mucky after being on all day, but you Dad always find a way to make me believe I'm special. You are the only man who could tell me I'm beautiful and whom I'll believe. 

I've always been big, I was born 5 weeks premature and weighed 7lb 4oz, you nearly got in a fight when I was just hours hold (if I can remember the story right) another father on the premature ward had asked why I was there, and you said she's premature mate, the man replied are you joking, come and look at the size of my baby, you got defensive since the minute I was born. My very biased Father, thank you!

I don't know what happened when I was a teenager, in a sense, it was like I rebelled outside, I got an ugly attitude and started arguing and fighting over stupid things. I first got arrested when I was 13, you didn't go mad at me, you sat down and spoke to me, you was there when I got arrested the next time, the time after that and so on. I've got a past I'm not proud of at all, but I believe that past has made me who I am today, with help and encouragement from you and Mum. I'm not saying I've changed completely  you know only too well I snap at people and do tend to have arguments but I feel your the only person who can calm me down.

You & Spud.

A Father's cuddle is just what I needed last year, when a seagull horridly pooed on Spud on holiday. I saw red, people surrounding me thought I was a nutter, whilst I ranted and raved and threw cans of Monster energy drink at passing seagulls. I called you Dad, I said I need a gun, I'm going to kill them, it's funny now when every one talks about it, Paula and Helen was at my side whilst I was kicking off, it was only you though who could calm me down when we met in the car park 5 minutes later.

I ring you when I've had a bad day, when I need a break and your there, through text by phone or visit, your there, always praising me and telling me how proud you are of me. I cherish the years of memories, and love you so much. I thank you for helping me with Spud, trying as hard as we can to toughen him up, but it seem's he is not like us after all lol. What I'm trying to say Dad, is thanks for being there always, and forever, because I know you always will be. I call you when a spider is on the verge of killing me via a heart attack, I call you when I need help, sorry to ask Dad, but I need something doing I'll say. You always help me, weather I need a nail banged into the wall, or if I need something from the attic, your the first person I think of to ask, and your the first person to never moan or complain, no jobs to small and no jobs to big. You work yourself but your never off duty as a parent, always being a taxi for one of us, or helping one of us out in our time of need.

Being the only single one of your kids, and now Mum's not local anymore, I appreciate the help you give when you have Spud for the night, there has been a number of times you have had Spud and I've just ended up staying in alone going to sleep, just to catch up and have a proper night's sleep, I really do appreciate everything, the times you've left work, or been waken in the middle of the night to help me or Spud out down the emergency doctor's or hospital. Not just the sleepover's you've gave Spud, but the bike rides and the other thing's a child should do with his Dad, your his super Grandad, if you say to him who do you want to see, Dad or Grandad, his answer is the same every time without fail.

My tall strong Dad with a body covered in tattoo's, all my friends thought you was so cool when we was kids, and they still do now, especially when you go round the roundabout 5 times and beep and wave at anyone for a bit of fun. My Dad, the Chelsea F.C fan, my Dad, the amazing man!

I truly hope you have a special day, we can't wait to see you, Spud chose all the presents this year, and yes Dad there all pair's of socks lol (my Dad doesn't like us spending our money on him, so each year without fail we get 'I only want a pair of socks, he never does get just the socks though). I could write loads more Dad, I could write a book, a never ending book on how special you are to us, for now I'll leave you to it, hoping you had time to read this post.

Your Youngest Baby Girl, Me!

Love you more then words can ever begin to explain, forever and always, from your youngest baby girl, Jadey xxxxx

Ways Too Make Money From Your Old Clothes

I start this post with a hurrh, a hurrh because of the amount of weight I've put on, a hurrh because I now realise even if I lose enough weight, my once favourite dress has over done it's time, a hurrh because even if I can lose enough weight, I'll never have that same shape as I did before because I've put weight on all over. So I find myself in a dilemma, not like Kelly and Nelly, not a love dilemma but something a lot more harder to sort out. My dilemma is my clothes, my old clothes, the clothes that once fitted perfectly, reflected my shape, style and personality, but there clothes that have sat there for over 2 years. The plan was for them clothes to go away for a few month's, until I got myself back on track, back to the old Jada, the size I was happy at. That failed and now them clothes are out of fashion, way out of fashion, out of date is not the word!

So I have a dilemma what do I do with these clothes, I could give them away but they would only be cut up and used as cleaning rags, there so out of date I may as well just pull out my Spice Girl's puffer jacket, oh my, could you imagine the stares I would received of passing strangers as I walked through town! Being a single Mum, when a close friend suggested I should sell my old clothes and make a few bob for myself, I got online and started looking about, whilst all the time thinking really? I could get rid of my old, out of date clothes and actually earn something from doing it!?

It was then that I come across a great website for selling clothes online, so not only am I freeing up space in my wardrobe but I'm able to go and treat myself to something new whilst doing so! Whilst browsing the site, I also noticed that you can sell DVD's, CD's and games, so you can guess what I'll be sorting out this weekend ;) check out the website yourself, have a clear out and earn some money whilst doing so!

Until next time,

Jade xx

Choosing The Right Skirt For Baby G

My beautiful little sister has been invited to her first school dance and has called up her big sister for some much needed fashion advice. Baby G as I call her has not been to a dance before and is very keen to wear a skirt, not one of my mum's all time favourite options, because to my Mum, Baby G is still her baby, being the youngest she is all of our babies, the only girl in the family, you'd think we would jump at opportunities to buy her dresses and skirts but Baby G has only just come out of the 'tom boy' phrase. 

Buying her first skirt is seeming quite challenging, that ones to long, it touches my ankles, that one's way to short I can hear my Mum shouting in the background. Mum, Baby G and my Step Dad moved to Cornwall in March, thank gosh for online shopping, it enables me to help Baby G find a skirt from the laptop without having to trawl around loads of shops, it also means I can help influence Baby G on finding her perfect outfit for her first school dance.

I am a big fan of highstreet stores and would always pick them over a designer piece any day! Why pay for £180 for a skirt when you can find an almost identical one on the high street for a much less price, leaving you with more money for the event, in Baby G's case it may be a packet of crisp and a can of fizzy, me on the other hand that's extra money for a taxi, another drink or some food at the end of night.

Whilst browsing my favourite high street store online, I come across this beautiful highwaisted skirt that I know will be just perfect for Baby G, it's black and straight so will go perfectly with any top she decides she wants to wear for her special day! To my surprise, Mum was even fine with it once Baby G said she will most prob have some shorts on underneath it! New Look has the best skirts around at the moment and what's even more of a bonus is that the skirt cost less then £10!!

Until next time,

Jade xx 

Reasons, Answers & Explanations

It's not hard to see that I've been quite AWOL from Unique Young Mum, I've still been here, every night I sit on the laptop and go to my homepage, I read old post and giggle and smile away to myself. I have not ran out of post, I have plenty, there's over 20 in the draft section alone, that's not including the draft's I've wrote on my phone on the way home from the school run, the endless word and notepad document's, my writing mojo has not gone, so what's going on!? I wish I knew myself, I wish I could turn inside out, I wish I knew what was going on inside my head, only he upstair's knows the answer. 

I started this blog in August 2012 with an idea, that idea still exist, the plan of action still somewhere in the midst of things, not loss, just not having a place to settle. Friends and family know me, everyone need's someone they can confide in, but not even half of them know whats been going on themselves  because I don't know what's going on. I don't mean to do it, but I'm closing up again, I'm pushing people away and distancing myself. I feel like I need a break from everything, I just wish I could whisk me and Spud away to Disney Land, a place all about Disney, a passion me and Spud share.

Spud is my life, I hear him snoring now whilst I stare at this screen and type, this post is seemingly filling up, so why last night was I sat here for minutes and hour's wracking my brains with idea's on what to type!? I could write about Spud all day long, but he's my life, and as much as I love showing off his beautiful little face, I can't share everything with the world. Call me selfish but I raised him, I still continue too, I will forever be there for him, in any way possible, I'll be there for my beautiful perfect Prince. I want to shout from roof tops sometimes, tell everyone how proud I am and tell you all of another one of our adventure's, but he's mine, he's not his Dad's, where has he been for the last 7 years!? Nowhere near Spud. What's he done in the last 7 years!? Nothing to shout about. 

I don't hate my baby father, I was brought up knowing hate was a very strong word, it would take a lot for me to hate someone, dislike on the other hand is something I can say. I see Spud's sperm donor in town yesterday, on a girly breakfast date with my cousin, I noticed him coming towards us, he asked how his son was, a father shouldn't ask a father should know. I really hate it (I do say hate, but I won't say I hate someone) when people presume he's the love of my life because I had a child with him. You couldn't be any more wrong, looking back now, I never did love him. My first love was my ex, the one who made me confident about myself, the one who praised me, respected me, valued me and loved me back. I'm scared for the next time, I've been in two relationships, I'm scared I'll once more have to say my ex, I'm not saying I want a forever because I don't know what the future holds. It would be nice to feel cherished, respected, complemented, valued and loved by a man once more.

At night times, I get lonely, I sometimes get scared (if a terrorist should appear from no where - a spider), I want to watch a scary DVD, but I'm too scared of that, I want to share laughter with someone, I want a cuddle, a kiss, I want someone to share my secrets with, someone I can share my happiness with, love with and so much more. I know I'm a nice person, but I wonder if I'm too nice when it comes to relationships, I don't want a guide book, I don't need one, but I've had two unsuccessful relationship's, so I've done something wrong haven't I!? I must of done something to be cheated on, lied too and fell out of love with, it must be me I tell myself constantly. I'm at the biggest I've been in my life, I was smaller then, I thought I looked okay, I've never liked my teeth, but I question myself, was it my size? My teeth? What was it about me!? How has this post turned soppy!? These word's can't stop, but for so long I've not known what to write about, isn't it weird how the mind works.

In a week there's 7 days, 168 hours and a million ways, every days different and we never know when our lives will change. I take it day by day, I don't even like planning nights with my girls as I believed the unplanned night's are the best ones. The future is anytime from now, one minute ago was the past, one minute away is the future. Next week is part of the future I'm not too keen on approaching. I have been poorly/ill well no actually, I just keep feeling funny, it's not all the time, but it is becoming a part of my daily routine. It's not at a particular time, and not after a particular movement. My blood pressure keep's dropping and I become lightheaded leading me to feel faint, thankfully I know the feeling of fainting after having experienced the unpleasant feeling a few times, so I know what to do, but it's not always preventable. It's back to the doctor's next week for me, more test are needed the receptionist informed me when I called on Monday for my blood test results, did she mean more blood test or other test? Panic entered my mind whilst the receptionist booked me in for the next available appointment with the doctor who's been dealing with me. Anxiously I wait, I hope we can find a reason, I hope I get answers and finally an explanation. I'm thinking as positively as I can, I'm keeping my chin up and my head even higher. The future's bright isn't it!?

I am slowly coming back onto the blogging scene, I've had a break from it all, de-stressed and realised how much the blogging community mean's to me! I miss my blogging cyber friends and the never ending support these lovely ladies have.

Jada xx

Never Ever Judge

I've been talking to a friend for the last week and we got onto the conversation of judgement last night. I've mentioned previously I've been judged, A LOT! I get judged on a daily basis because of my age, not because people know my age, of course many people do, but them stranger's who stare when my child calls me Mummy. They, them strangers, they stare at me with their nosey eyes, you can tell by the look on their faces their baffled, their trying to guess with their small little mind's how old or how young the girl they are staring at is. Not a wrinkle or sag to be seen, and still getting asked for ID in shops, I'm guessing I still have a young face, no one has ever guessed I'm 23, never a day older but always younger.

So I get judged by these strangers, as they continue to stare backwards and forwards from myself to Spud, I can imagine two voices in their head whilst I smile to myself, I smile at my son, bemused at these people who are holding up the que because standing behind the till is the cashier who's called for the next customer twice. I look to the person who's been staring backwards and forwards from me and Spud for the last 6 minutes continuously and politely tell them the checkout is available. Its then that I get another confused stare whilst they mutter thank you, I think I got judged again, was they expecting me to say ''are you waiting in this que for fun or something'' expecting a young female to be sarcastic, rude or for something more inappropriate to come out of my mouth.

Whilst they quickly pick up pace to get to the till, I think of the cashier standing behind it, they have to use judgement every day, people arrive at her checkout and ask for cigarette's, a bottle of cheap vodka & a lottery ticket, that till operator has to use her judgement, do they look old enough to buy such items? Will you offend the person if you ask for ID? I don't mind these judgements though, they are doing their job, they don't want a hefty fine and I wouldn't like that either, they could even loose their job if they served inappropriate items to a minor (someone under the age of 18) and knowing I'm old enough doesn't bother me if they should ask such a question.

Being a Mum from the age of 15 gave me a plan for life, my world now revolves around my son, I carried on with my education I got my grades and now I work in a industry I have a passion for, maybe it's not the dream job I always thought about as a child, but maybe my 'dream' job wasn't meant to be. I'm Christian and I believe God plan's everything for us, if I'm happy in what I'm doing (and I totally am) then why should I think about what the future could of been? I'm living the life I'm currently living and I'm taking it one step at a very small time. I don't know what's around the corner, well according to my horoscopes a new pair of slippers will be making a new home in my home soon, so maybe I'll buy a new pair of slippers, maybe I won't.

I'll go into a shop and I'll judge those many pair's of slippers sat on the over filling shelves, them ones are too granny fied for me I say to myself, them ones are so the 70's and them ones are too big, them ones are too floral, too bright, too hard, I judge, I have to judge, if I didn't I'm pretty sure I'd walk around looking like a big oversized raspberry, I love pink but I couldn't wear pink, it doesn't suit my body shape, give me pink lipstick and pink nail varnish and that's me! Something I don't do, and if any of my family and friends are reading this, they will know the answer already, I don't judge people.

What gives me any right to judge anyone? What gives any one the right to judge me? The answer for both of them questions is NOTHING. Nothing gives me the right to judge and nothing gives no one the right to judge me. Everyone in this world has walked their life journey to date, some not so lucky as other's and some who have never had a reason to smile. I feel sorry for the homeless alcoholics and junkies you see on the streets, scruffy faces and holes in their clothes, you wish you could help, show them another life, show them what potential life can have, but its not that easy, its not easy at all.

To help someone, they have to be ready to help themselves and sadly for so many people, the addiction is already done it's worse, it's too late. The girl stood on the corner in the red light district shouldn't be there, but for her body to get the fix of drugs she needs she has to be stood on that corner, no self respect, no values, no morals. I have pride for myself, I have respect, wisdom, knowledge, values and moral's but that doesn't mean I should look at those people with disgust who don't have the same as me. Them once pretty faces now saggy and off colour, gaunt and skinny, they could of had a good life, was they handed that path or did they step onto the wrong path that wasn't destined for them?

I'm not on no high horse, I've never been on one to step down from one, but I'm guilty because I have gave the odd double stare, I've judged when I was younger & called people names I'm not in no way proud of. I had to grow up quickly, I was 15 when I fell pregnant and 15 when I gave birth, to be the Mother I always hoped to be, I needed to change, it didn't come overnight and I still had setbacks but I'm here today, I'm happy, my son's happy. I don't have social sniffing around me like 50% of teenage mothers and have no reason for them to be involved.

My son is my world, he is the reason why my heart is filled with emotion, love and joy. I stare at his pictures of him whilst he's at school (like now), the premature baby who weighed a tiny 4lb who is now MY perfect boy. I've got him to where he is today, a well behaved, polite and caring little boy. Maybe I pushed that Disney addiction onto him too, dressing him in the cute Mickey Mouse baby outfits had an impact on his obsession I'm sure, but who care's. Children should be children for as long as they can.

My amazing supportive parents, don't blame them for me becoming pregnant so young. I was taught right from wrong, I was taught respect, politeness, values, moral's, knowledge, respect, forgiveness & so much more. I rebelled, ME. I'm not paying for no mistake because my son is my world, I don't know any different, I don't want to know any different. When people say to me don't you regret having him so young, don't you wish you waited till you was older, my answer is NO.

What have I missed out on? Drunken alcoholic fuelled weekends? The all night house parties? The string of many boyfriends most girls of my age has had? (You see I'm judging there, stereo typing girls of my age!) Being broke? Travelling the world? Well I can get a baby sitter and get drunk in a club, I could of had plenty of men In mine and my son's life and I can travel the world with my son. I've not lost nothing, I've gained the most amazing experience in the world, parenthood.

Next time you stick your head up when your in a crowded town and someone tries selling you a big issue, don't judge that person, you don't know what life they've led. They could of once been like you and me, her and you, me and you, do you honestly think they wanted to be the way they are? Of course not. Don't judge no one because you never have and never will have the right too.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend and make sure its a safe one with whatever plans you have!

Jade xx

My Birthday Wish List

As I have already mentioned in a post recently, my birthday is just around the corner (depending on big a corner you think :P) - a whole two days away and to make it even clearer, it's on Friday!

Wahoo, my friends don't understand why I'm so happy!

After their constant reminders of me drawing yet another year closer to 30, I remember the good things about Birthdays; the celebrations, the quality time spent with loved ones, the excuse to drink, the cake (I love cake!!!) and the spending! 

I always go on a shopping spree the day after my birthday, but I have so much to do on Saturday, so I will be going on Sunday instead.  I’ll be spending the day with my big sister, my big brother and his partner and enjoying some serious shopping in London!

They are also dragging me along to The London Dungeons - shivers run down my spine just thinking about it! Eek.

I've been making a list of new items I want, so I've decided to make this post into my Birthday wish list, so if any of my lovely family or friends are reading -  these items are the items I love!!!

Not as much as I love you all though ;)

The Dress

Image source: Ark

I bought this beautiful dress from the Ark a couple of months ago, not normally a colour I would usually go with, but a colour that goes perfect with my cherry chocolate hair! Sadly, as with buying online, I have a problem, read below, eek!

The Shape Wear

Image source: Figleaves

I purchased that beautiful dress above a couple months back…in 'my' size of course, but after not working out for a while, it seems the pounds have crept on very sneakily in some very unflattering places.  Like any girl, I want to look flawless for my birthday, so I’ve got to find an another way to create that flawless silhouette I so desire. I have no time to go find another dress or to order the dress in a bigger size nor is it feasible to bust my butt at the gym in with less than 72 hours to go.

I did however find this body smoother online from the shapewear and lingerie section on the Figleaves website that would really complement my dress and I wouldn’t have to do a lot of tugging on it all the time to keep it from rolling down. Not too sure about which colour I would get though, but if you are feeling super generous, I won’t say no to both.

I had a body suit on for my 18th birthday, sadly that soon lost its wear and had to be binned, so it's about time I got a new one, and my birthday is the perfect excuse for a new one!

The Shoes

Image source: Office

Everyone who knows me knows how much I love my heels! I want a pair that will last long, but a pair that won’t cost an arm and a leg either. I am finding it a bit difficult to browse in shoe shops because I just want to buy them all. I visited the Office website and found this stunning pair. Black, killer heels, silver spuds, open toe and in the sale too! Perfect!

The Bag

Image source: Rare London

Every outfit needs a good bag that matches well. I am sure plenty of other girls agree with me when I say size does not matter with bags, but the style does!  Check out this bag I found on Rare London’s site – It would match perfectly with the shoes above, don’t you think?

If anyone disagrees, we clearly see differently – which is fine!

Rare London also has a sale going on and my perfect find is on sale for just a small £16! =D

The Make Up

Image source: Boots

I love the No7 range from Boots; their eye primer is the best eye primer ever. I started using No7 whilst at college and I could rave about it all day long!

I'm running low on some foundation and I have had my eyes on this pretty pink lipstick I've seen!

What's even greater is there is a special offer on No7 at the moment, with buy 1 get 2nd 1/2 price across selected No7 products. Both the foundation and lipstick are in the range, yippee…money saved and more points to go on my Boots advantage card!

The Perfume

Image resource: Perfumania

Last but not definitely not least - the smell.

I have different perfumes for different occasions, and a going out perfume is something that has to make the opposite sex turn heads, it has to be that smell they want to go after, the smell they want to smell more of…c’mon, you know what I mean. So, I am really pleading for a new bottle of Paris Hilton's Dazzle, as mine ran out just a few weeks ago, and I fear no heads will turn without me smelling beautiful thanks to the perfume!

There we have it, my birthday wish list, so I hope one of you love me enough for at least 1 of these presents, or you can all chip in =D

Until next time,

Jade x

The Sunshine Sure Does Bring Happiness!

Hello my lovelies, I hope you've all been well and enjoying the beautiful sunshine that come and blessed us yesterday ? Ohh and half of today too of course, it's still out now, beaming beautifully, although today the sun is not as strong and it's not as hot as yesterday, it's still lovely to see some sun ay!? 

Everywhere I have been over the couple of days, everyone everywhere seem's happier, random smiles from strangers who may once look down at the ground or avoid eye contact, kids are out playing without coats on their lunch at school, Mum's rush to the supermarkets and buy sun cream, ice pops and other 'quick the sun is out' essentials. How I wish I had a garden, whilst shopping today I would of so purchased items for a BBQ for our dinner!

I took Spud's scooter to school with me in the afternoon, he come running out with his coat on saying you brought my scooter yayyy, I told him to take his coat off, I'm surprised his teacher let him leave with it on in this heat, I had to take it with me this morning though as it was so cold!

He scooted all the way back home, apart from roads of course, and he is now playing with his toys, Horrid Henry on the tv, windows open and a nice breeze passing through our home, ice pop left melting in a bowl, but all I can do is smile, one quick look at the sun and I forget about the hoovering that need's doing, the work which I should be doing, thank gosh I work from home and for myself, I can quikly catch up with lost work when Spud's in bed later.

Yesterday me and Spud went to the park about 20 miles away with our cousins, then we ended up at the Hungry Horse, our faviourite family pub where we had dinner in the garden, it was lovely! I also finalised my party next Saturday, the DJ and venue is all sorted, I'm excited!!

Well I'm off now, I may walk across to the park nearer to us, or even just go for a walk, as for all we know it could be raining tomorrow!

Until next time,

Jade x