For You, Mr M W

I'm sorry M, sorry for too much, sorry that I couldn't even tell you to your face and sorry for so much more. You was the boy I could take back home, the one I could introduce to the family & know your get on well with everyone, have football banter with my Dad and Brothers, but as your a Arsenal fan, you'd have to of been prepared for the most serious banter mind you. You've met Spud so many times, willing to teach him football and so much more, I never have and never will look for a Daddy for Spud, he's got his Father, he knows who he is even if he doesn't bother as much as I like and as much as you think he should. It was good to know that you was willing to be there for both of us.

You was, you still are the best one when I look back. We met back in 2006, at college, I always remember the cute smile you had and still do have, the way you'd smile at me and instantly I'd want to smile back. We spoke on a daily basis, only as friends and strictly, I was with Spud's Dad and you always respected me for that, never asking to meet up in secret, nothing like that at all. I can't remember the first time you admitted you liked me, I do however know I was surprised, we was friends, I told you the deepest secrets some of my girls of years don't even know, you never judged, you never got mad, you just listened. 

 We've been the same for years me and you, we start speaking, then I and only myself gets mad, I get angry, I snap and I leave you alone for ages, frustrated, annoyed, stupidly not wanting to speak to you. You use to come back, you'd give me time to cool down then you'd come back, always remembering and never forgetting, taking time to ask how I was, forgetting the situation until the time was right. We've met up, we've gone on dates, and you've never once tried to sleep with me, you respected me in every way possible. Looking back now, looking back at all the opportunities you've had, the times we've been alone, all you'd want was a cuddle and a kiss, my friends told me you was perfect, why didn't I listen!? 

I enjoyed the cuddles, the kisses on the head and the falling asleep in your arms. We would be so fine, we'd start talking, we would get close again and then bam, I'm mad again, with a click of a finger, that was all it took. It was always me, I know that now, I blamed you, you'd wind me up, your annoying me I'd say, but looking back, I wasn't ready, it wasn't the right time. I wish I would of known then, I wish I could be at peace now, I sit and wonder if you would be here now, watching me write a post, only the post wouldn't be on you. I moaned you was too quiet, but I moaned about the bad boys, you don't drink, you don't smoke, your you, Mr W.

Day after day and night after night, you pop into my head, I can't erase it, I can't get rid of you, no matter how much I try. Its like, I've realised what I've lost... I suppose you could say I have issues, it took me along time to get over the ex as you know, I was always honest with you, always, but still, you was always there, always, apart from now. I could never of imagined us together, we're just different me and you, your quiet and not known at all, your not loud like me, a drinker, a smoker if so be it a social one at that, your just you. You more then anyone know I have trust issues, I've been hurt twice in similar circumstances, I was scared to give you my heart and all, scared I couldn't take any more pain. 

Last year, we stopped talking again, only this time you didn't come back and I don't blame you, you moved on, you found yourself a girlfriend, instantly I didn't like her, because she had you, the man who wanted me for so many years, the man who I knocked back for so long. I don't know why, its not that I don't want you, its not that I do want you, but its not that I don't want anyone else to have you. I don't know what it is about you, you've got a secret hold on me, when I need someone to talk too, your the first person I'd want to come too, I know you'd be there for me 24/7, I know you'd listen. If I was upset and needed a cuddle, I know you'd take me into your strong arms and give me one of your strong but sensitive cuddles. They say there's always that one person who will always have your heart, your never see it coming cause your blinded from the start, that was my case, blinded, misguided and plain stupid. I know I let the best person I could of ever met slip, not once, twice or three times, but too many times. 

I've lost you and I'm gutted, why should you of waited for me, I still don't know what I want now, it wasn't fair on you. I know your be reading this, because as soon as I hit the publish button I'm sending the link to you, just know, like all the times you was there for me in the past, I'll be here for you, through the ups and downs I'm here. Maybe not as strong as you, maybe not as tall, maybe not as smiley, but I'm here, Jade's here. You are one of the few boys who can call me Jade and I don't mind, one of the few boys who can wind me up something rotten and then tell me you was joking, only for us to laugh and cuddle, the only boy I truly feel safe with, the one I can be myself with and share all my dreams and secrets with. 

 When I met you, I felt like I could be myself, you showed me loving like no body else, now I know the choice I should of made, should of been with you but what else can I say. He may of had what I wanted, but your the one I needed. When that time comes, from the bottom of my heart, I will make a change, I swear I won't put no one else before you this time, I wanna make a brand new start, so please don't walk away, I'm not in love with him, and all that matters is you. 

Take care Mr M W, 

Jade <3 

x

Stop Panicking, Your Child's Photo's On Facebook Are SAFE!!!

Sometime last week, a few statuses posted within minutes of each other caught my eye, something along the lines of a site is taking pictures from your Facebook and sharing it with everyone, me being me, the mad worried and paranoid person I am started panicking. When I say I'm worried, mad and paranoid, that's only when it comes to my Spud! I started doing a little investigating, posting around on the blogging groups on Facebook asking for some help, the lovely fellow bloggers I have explained to the best of their knowledge what was going on, I was relieved, you will be too once you've read this post.

Sit back, relax, stop looking for a number for Facebook head office and let me explain to you what's going on. Facebook has a feature called pages, I have one myself for Unique Young Mum which you can find here, Facebook pages can be made by anyone really, they come in different forms and to the best of my knowledge and wisdom, there are a few categories (that's what I am aware of), fan pages like Unique Mummy Blog, and community pages (which is the pages that have caused such panic) are the two I am most aware of. Fan pages is a page that anyone, like me or you have made up, just like I did for Unique Mummy Blog, then we have the community pages which I believe after my research are created from Facebook when a number of people link to the same interest. 

One that has been doing its rounds recently is one called babies, children or anything related in between. People have been clicking on these pages and have been horrified to find photo' of their children, family member's children or friend's children. Panic sets in as you realise 'the whole world' can see the photo's you thought you had maximum privacy settings on, your getting angry, you report the page, I know your thinking it, because I was exactly the same. On doing some digging, I was relieved to know that its not the whole word feasting their eyes on photo's of my child, my family member's or my friend's children. 

Everyone has a Facebook profile and I'd say at least 50% of people have photo's uploaded onto their timeline or into specific albums, so if I'm your friend and I want a nosey through your photo's, I can see them all, if someone is not your friend then they can not see your photo's (depending on your privacy settings) so what happens when we click on these community pages is we see photo's from all our friends and family that Facebook have very cleverly pulled from our many albums and uploaded timeline post. Not any two people will ever see the same photo's because the photo's you see depend on who is on your friends list. 

It's like checking out everyone on your friend's list photo's, with the only difference being is, instead of checking everyone's individuals profiles, you in fact can see multiple photo's all on one page. You may see a photo of a child/children you don't know, but guaranteed one of your friends/family members has uploaded the photo.

So remember, not everyone and anyone can see the photo's on these pages, its only the people you are friends with who can see such photo's of your child/children. It's just like them coming onto your profile and having a look at your photo's, only they get a collage of photo's from all their friends with that specific search term, I am talking about the term babies, children etc. One I have come across just now is here, you can see on the right hand side of the page Facebook have included a box stating ''This Page is automatically generated based on what Facebook users are interested in and not affiliated with or endorsed by anyone associated with the topic''.

I hope this subject can bring rest to some of you going out of your minds with worry.

Until next time,

Jada xx

And Yet Again, I Find Myself In This Situation..

The time is 3:02am, I have not been to sleep and I should be up in less then 4 hours to get Spud up and ready for school. I got into bed around 11pm, within 25 minutes I got the horrid feeling of being sick, every time I moved, my head pounded like I was being thrown around on a mad fun fare ride. I'm tired, stressed and feel sick, I feel faint constantly and just wish I could sleep. I resorted to coming to the front room, such an amazing plan entered my head, I'll do an all nighter, only I am not 14 anymore, I am a tired Mum who has no such time for things such as all nighters. I'm stuck in a situation though, if I try and go to sleep now, which no doubt will happen, will I wake up on time, will I hear my alarm!?

It's times like this I wish Spud's Father was more involved, I wish for once in his life he could do the school run, it wouldn't hurt him, but he wouldn't even attempt to do it, too scared who he will be seen by, who will find out he's got a child, or maybe just maybe he doesn't give a damn care for his child's school educating life! Yes I think I'll go with that story.

I need sleep, proper sleep, if I manage to get a few hours before 7am, I'll be tired either way, I'm going to be a walking zombie doing the school run, forcing myself to pass the three local shops within my area, telling myself not to cave in for an energy drink. I started to get a little bit addicted to them, having at least 1 Monster energy drink a day, sometimes two and sometimes even three, friends, family and myself thought that maybe I was becoming I'll because of them, but I don't think it is, it's still here and I have not touched a single energy drink for the last week.

I get scared at times like this, I'm constantly pushing it to the back of my mind, then when the abnormal and severe pain comes, I worry, I question myself and pray its not something serious. I've got the doctors again tomorrow (Wednesday) it's now become my second home, I'd like some answers, and if its more blood test then so be it, I need to know what's going on inside of me, I've reminded Spud so many times in the last couple of weeks as to what he needs to do in an emergency, that's what I'm most fearful of, something happening if I'm alone with Spud.

I just hope and pray that nothing does happen, I hope the doctors can find the reason to the way I'm feeling.

Jade xx

Playing For Keeps DVD Review

When ever someone mention's Gerald Butler I automatically get excited, a warm feeling spread's within me and a smile breaks free. When I was asked if I would like to review Playing For Keeps a new DVD due to be released on the 20th of May featuring the very man himself (Gerald Butler) I typed as quickly as my fingers could agreeing to take out the review. 

I vowed I would watch the DVD as soon as it landed through my door, this didn't go to plan and I'm glad it didn't. I waited until the weekend when I had more free time, a glass and a half in my hand, chocolate beside me and the boy tucked up in bed, I decided it was date night, me, the glass, the sofa, the chocolate and the DVD, a single woman's perfect night!

I'm not jealous :/ honestly!!!

Gerald Butler plays the role of George Dryer, a retired footballer who seems to be having a little crises with his life. A father of one to his son Lewis, George soon comes to realise what he is missing out on in his life and moves away to be closer to his son and ex wife Stacey (played by Jessica Biel). George start's coaching Lewis's football team and tries as it seems to impress his son's Mum, his ex wife Stacey. It's only to expect the attention George receives with his beautiful looks from the sideline football Mum's supporting their children. George has a lack of parenting skills which he slowly picks up on, slowly.

Maybe not one for the kids, but something us singletons and couple's can watch together (not that I know but it has football in!? Playing For Keeps is out to own on DVD and Blu Ray from the 20th of May 2013 with a certificate of 12A and a RRP of £15.99 for DVD and £17.99 for Blu Ray. 

Dear Dad

This post is dedicated to my amazing Father, tear's already well in my eyes as I expect this post to get emotional. Happy Birthday Dad, another year older but not a clue to suggest it, here's to another joyous and loving year, may you have a fantastic day, because if one man out there deserve's it, it's you Dad, and I honestly mean that from the bottom of my heart. Your always there for me and Spud, but not only us, the whole family, your other 5 children and other 5 grandchildren. Some would argue coming from a bigger then average family the parents would have favorites  not with you Dad, we all know you love us all equally, my amazing Dad.

A Very Big Premature Me & You, My Amazing Father.

My amazing Father, where on earth do I start, I could write a book about you Dad, I'm crying whilst writing this, tear's dropping onto my freshly washed hair, but tonight Dad, I don't care. It's happy tear's Dad, I don't even know why I'm crying, I couldn't have a bad word to say about you apart from the rabbit pie lol. Your always there for me, you never get mad, no matter what I do. I come to live with you when I was young, around 9 year's old if I can remember rightly, of course I missed Mum terribly, but the transition seemed easy, we lived on the boat at first, school friends would call me and Jamie 'Rosie and Jim' and would listen to our stories with mouth's wide open. I remember when I was at primary school and you brought in loads of the boat stuff, kind of like a show and tell stand, the whole year and every teacher would admire the beautiful pieces there eyes were settled on, I'd watch their every move, every finger that touched your property, telling myself if anything got ruined I'd go mad. 

I remember being a quiet child if I can remember rightly, maybe I got mischievous and gobby sometimes, but overall I remember being good, I remember the school reports and school evenings, how proud you'd be as the teacher would inform and update you on my work and behavior. I loved junior school, I was in a beautiful school out of the way, one that was respected and religious, the regular Church visit's was something all the pupil's looked forward too, including me. You'd take us along to the school fayre's, the school dance's and Christmas parties, always one to join in the fun when parent's were asked todo a tug of war you was always on of the first to put your hands up.

Me and Jamie never went without, you worked hard, you slept minimum and had very little time for yourself, any time you had off work was spent whisking me and Jamie (as the other's were all older) to Legoland, Chesington or Thorpe Park, when the other's had time off work, they'd come along too. You've always been a family man, I watch your expressions when we're all together, growing rapidly it may seem, you still invite us into your home with as much love as the days we was born. I know I couldn't possibly remember my new born days, or maybe even memories before the age of 3, I do however know I was brought up, showered with love always.

Your 6 Grandsons, Your Still Waiting For Your Dolly.

When I stated this blog, you listened to me every day for the first few months, you even came along to Disney HQ in London for my first event, I'm glad me and Spud shared the day with you, because I know your really pleased for me, your happy and proud. My biased Father who always tells me I'm beautiful. I could have no make up on, or even make up that is looking mucky after being on all day, but you Dad always find a way to make me believe I'm special. You are the only man who could tell me I'm beautiful and whom I'll believe. 

I've always been big, I was born 5 weeks premature and weighed 7lb 4oz, you nearly got in a fight when I was just hours hold (if I can remember the story right) another father on the premature ward had asked why I was there, and you said she's premature mate, the man replied are you joking, come and look at the size of my baby, you got defensive since the minute I was born. My very biased Father, thank you!

I don't know what happened when I was a teenager, in a sense, it was like I rebelled outside, I got an ugly attitude and started arguing and fighting over stupid things. I first got arrested when I was 13, you didn't go mad at me, you sat down and spoke to me, you was there when I got arrested the next time, the time after that and so on. I've got a past I'm not proud of at all, but I believe that past has made me who I am today, with help and encouragement from you and Mum. I'm not saying I've changed completely  you know only too well I snap at people and do tend to have arguments but I feel your the only person who can calm me down.

You & Spud.

A Father's cuddle is just what I needed last year, when a seagull horridly pooed on Spud on holiday. I saw red, people surrounding me thought I was a nutter, whilst I ranted and raved and threw cans of Monster energy drink at passing seagulls. I called you Dad, I said I need a gun, I'm going to kill them, it's funny now when every one talks about it, Paula and Helen was at my side whilst I was kicking off, it was only you though who could calm me down when we met in the car park 5 minutes later.

I ring you when I've had a bad day, when I need a break and your there, through text by phone or visit, your there, always praising me and telling me how proud you are of me. I cherish the years of memories, and love you so much. I thank you for helping me with Spud, trying as hard as we can to toughen him up, but it seem's he is not like us after all lol. What I'm trying to say Dad, is thanks for being there always, and forever, because I know you always will be. I call you when a spider is on the verge of killing me via a heart attack, I call you when I need help, sorry to ask Dad, but I need something doing I'll say. You always help me, weather I need a nail banged into the wall, or if I need something from the attic, your the first person I think of to ask, and your the first person to never moan or complain, no jobs to small and no jobs to big. You work yourself but your never off duty as a parent, always being a taxi for one of us, or helping one of us out in our time of need.

Being the only single one of your kids, and now Mum's not local anymore, I appreciate the help you give when you have Spud for the night, there has been a number of times you have had Spud and I've just ended up staying in alone going to sleep, just to catch up and have a proper night's sleep, I really do appreciate everything, the times you've left work, or been waken in the middle of the night to help me or Spud out down the emergency doctor's or hospital. Not just the sleepover's you've gave Spud, but the bike rides and the other thing's a child should do with his Dad, your his super Grandad, if you say to him who do you want to see, Dad or Grandad, his answer is the same every time without fail.

My tall strong Dad with a body covered in tattoo's, all my friends thought you was so cool when we was kids, and they still do now, especially when you go round the roundabout 5 times and beep and wave at anyone for a bit of fun. My Dad, the Chelsea F.C fan, my Dad, the amazing man!

I truly hope you have a special day, we can't wait to see you, Spud chose all the presents this year, and yes Dad there all pair's of socks lol (my Dad doesn't like us spending our money on him, so each year without fail we get 'I only want a pair of socks, he never does get just the socks though). I could write loads more Dad, I could write a book, a never ending book on how special you are to us, for now I'll leave you to it, hoping you had time to read this post.

Your Youngest Baby Girl, Me!

Love you more then words can ever begin to explain, forever and always, from your youngest baby girl, Jadey xxxxx

Ways Too Make Money From Your Old Clothes

I start this post with a hurrh, a hurrh because of the amount of weight I've put on, a hurrh because I now realise even if I lose enough weight, my once favourite dress has over done it's time, a hurrh because even if I can lose enough weight, I'll never have that same shape as I did before because I've put weight on all over. So I find myself in a dilemma, not like Kelly and Nelly, not a love dilemma but something a lot more harder to sort out. My dilemma is my clothes, my old clothes, the clothes that once fitted perfectly, reflected my shape, style and personality, but there clothes that have sat there for over 2 years. The plan was for them clothes to go away for a few month's, until I got myself back on track, back to the old Jada, the size I was happy at. That failed and now them clothes are out of fashion, way out of fashion, out of date is not the word!

So I have a dilemma what do I do with these clothes, I could give them away but they would only be cut up and used as cleaning rags, there so out of date I may as well just pull out my Spice Girl's puffer jacket, oh my, could you imagine the stares I would received of passing strangers as I walked through town! Being a single Mum, when a close friend suggested I should sell my old clothes and make a few bob for myself, I got online and started looking about, whilst all the time thinking really? I could get rid of my old, out of date clothes and actually earn something from doing it!?

It was then that I come across a great website for selling clothes online, so not only am I freeing up space in my wardrobe but I'm able to go and treat myself to something new whilst doing so! Whilst browsing the site, I also noticed that you can sell DVD's, CD's and games, so you can guess what I'll be sorting out this weekend ;) check out the website yourself, have a clear out and earn some money whilst doing so!

Until next time,

Jade xx

Choosing The Right Skirt For Baby G

My beautiful little sister has been invited to her first school dance and has called up her big sister for some much needed fashion advice. Baby G as I call her has not been to a dance before and is very keen to wear a skirt, not one of my mum's all time favourite options, because to my Mum, Baby G is still her baby, being the youngest she is all of our babies, the only girl in the family, you'd think we would jump at opportunities to buy her dresses and skirts but Baby G has only just come out of the 'tom boy' phrase. 

Buying her first skirt is seeming quite challenging, that ones to long, it touches my ankles, that one's way to short I can hear my Mum shouting in the background. Mum, Baby G and my Step Dad moved to Cornwall in March, thank gosh for online shopping, it enables me to help Baby G find a skirt from the laptop without having to trawl around loads of shops, it also means I can help influence Baby G on finding her perfect outfit for her first school dance.

I am a big fan of highstreet stores and would always pick them over a designer piece any day! Why pay for £180 for a skirt when you can find an almost identical one on the high street for a much less price, leaving you with more money for the event, in Baby G's case it may be a packet of crisp and a can of fizzy, me on the other hand that's extra money for a taxi, another drink or some food at the end of night.

Whilst browsing my favourite high street store online, I come across this beautiful highwaisted skirt that I know will be just perfect for Baby G, it's black and straight so will go perfectly with any top she decides she wants to wear for her special day! To my surprise, Mum was even fine with it once Baby G said she will most prob have some shorts on underneath it! New Look has the best skirts around at the moment and what's even more of a bonus is that the skirt cost less then £10!!

Until next time,

Jade xx