Friday 16 January 2015

The Difference Between Dreaming and Reality.

Living in a flat for so many years with a child led me to having the same dream for years, and that was to one day call a house our home, instead of calling a flat our home. Don't get me wrong, I was and still am extremely grateful to have a roof above mine and Spud's heads, whether that was at the flat, or here in our house, I know I'm extremely lucky to be able to live somewhere freely, and know I've got somewhere to sleep every day!

After reliving the same dream constantly for seven years, you start looking at things relating to the dream, so me for example, just to keep the dream going strong, I thought about what I would do when I moved into a house, I dreamed about popping champaign and spraying the walls with screams of joy, the reality though, was entirely different!

What I Dreamed Of: Screaming with joy
What Happened In Reality: Enough tears to fill a river, or rather the bathroom sink!

Under-estimating the condition of this house led me to feeling like a rubbish mother who clearly should not be allowed to make decisions in life. I've never felt so down and rubbish, and still have the odd cry when I look at how much stuff that still needs doing!

What I Dreamed Of: House warming dinner party
What Happened In Reality: A microwave meal!

I dreamed about having my closest friends around the weekend of the move, yes even in my dream I dreamed of the day I'd be moving and all sorts! Instead of that though, we lived off microwave meals for the first week!

What I Dreamed Of: Enjoying the bubbles!
What Happened In Reality: Drowning my sorrows!

I dreamed of sipping my most favourite bottle of bubbly, Tesco Cava Brut on my first child free night in the house, instead, I downed a cheap bottle of wine (or two) with a friend and regretted it the next day!

What I Dreamed Of: Enjoying a shower
What Happened In Reality: A dirty yucky shower!

Being in a flat not located on the ground floor meant the water pressure wasn't enough for a working shower, so I dreamed about the day I could shower, instead of having to wait for the bath to run! Can you imagine my horror when lot's of yucky dirty water started coming out of the shower hose!? Nope, neither could I, I was livid!

What I Dreamed Of: A brand new stress free start!
What Happened In Reality: I faced depression!

I've never been depressed, and I can't say I know what depression feels like, but I was so down and feeling so different, I'd say I was borderline depressed at least. I felt like the world's worse mother, and really just didn't feel like a good human being at all!

Isn't it mad how when we get a dream come true, there's lots of things that still don't happen! I suppose it teaches me to be greedy! I'm feeling much better now, and can't wait to show off the house with you when it's done! We're taking it easy, concentrating on one room at a time at the moment, but good things come to those who wait!

Until next time,
Jada x


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