Saturday 25 May 2013

Friends..!? What Are They!? Where Are They!?

I've always had a love for English/Literacy, English was by far one of my most strongest points in school. I've always loved reading and writing, my earliest memory was aged 3, when I won a competition at nursery for a story and colouring competition. My competition prize was a video (old school!) called Little Pig Robinson, I treasured that video for many years, oh how I wish they would release it onto DVD! Sometimes the smallest things can bring back so many happy memories...

I read books to self educate, to let my mind escape into another place, I'm a very fast reader and have been known to read 300+ page books in a day, if the books a good read, I just can't put it down. I write to let feelings out, sometimes it comes naturally and sometimes it doesn't. Some would argue feelings should be kept to yourself, only for you to know, I argue on a debate otherwise. I too sometimes believe feelings should be kept to oneself, but sometimes writing and exposing the feeling is a great relief, I'm sure many of my fellow bloggers would agree.

No real blogger started blogging for the fabulous perks, something I have took part of in the past & will continue once I am back on my feet. A blogger finds a niche and sticks to it, they write, we write, Its what we are good at. I love how everyone has their own unique ways of writing, and when reading a post on fellow blogger's sites, I know its them. I'm not saying you could send me a unnamed post and expect me to identify the writer, but I notice little techniques, the favourite word's that get used on a regular basis throughout many different post.

To be true to someone else, you have to be true to your self, I don't know where I am right now in life. I'm still young, 23 precisely, but I feel so much older, I don't want to look back on life in twenty years time and regret the stuff I didn't do, the things I planned that didn't happen doesn't bother me, I say unplanned is always the best plans. I'm not saying them plans, thoughts and visions I once had don't upset me knowing they didn't happen, of course they do, but what can we do!? Life must go on. I've hit a difficult time in my life, I'm questioning friendships, relationships and myself.

Where's all those people who promised to be there for you in your hour of need!? Why when I talk to my girls, are they turning it around to themselves? Always a strong one, not one needing a shoulder to cry on, the one time I need them, they turn the conversation around to them, their life dilemma's. That hurts. I'm tired of being there for everyone else but myself, why should I continue to be the nice person I know I am!? When not one person who vowed they was friends, can ask how I'm doing today.

Friend's also don't disappear when they have new relationships, you can have a relationship and still make time for your friends, you know the people who was there before your partner, the ones that will always be there!!

I know everyone has their own lives, me included, I'm a busy Mum who's life is never at rest, even when Spud's not with me, my mind never rest. I'm not asking any of my friends to drop plans, but if you've not got any, a visit would be nice. I need to find myself again, I need a comfort zone and a few good friends who I know will be there for me, in the very few times I'll need them.

That is all,


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