Saturday 20 July 2013

You Don't Care, Your Never There..

My boy took part in his second sports day on Wednesday, it should of been his third, but due to last year's horrid weather that overtook July, 2012 sports day was cancelled, you missed out.

You wasn't there to cheer on MY boy, to give him encouragement and support in his competitive races, you wasn't there to tell him well done, to tell him how proud you was of him, you wasn't there.

You wasn't there to remind him to drink, and constantly tell him it doesn't matter if you don't win, try your hardest, I'll still be the most proudest parent there.

You wasn't there to witness him come 3rd and 1st in his races, you wasn't there to see the biggest smile spread across his face, the sheer delight and joy that overtook his beautiful, perfect little face knowing he tried his best. You wasn't there.

You wasn't there last Friday when I had his last infant school meeting, I'm not even sure if you know he's going to junior school in Septemeber, because your never there.

You didn't join me in sitting on a children's chair, the small tiny chairs that once scared me, in fear they wouldn't take my weight, the ones I'm now use too, you didn't join me in the second chair, you wasn't there.

You wasn't there to listen to his last ever infant school report, to hear how well he had progressed, and even to hear where he didn't progress and needed help with, you wasn't there.

You have not been to one school report, Christmas play or sports day, you've not seen how he's progressed, you've never been there.

You WAS there when the doctors told us that MY boy would be slow and behind forever. Born 7 weeks premature (born at 33 weeks) we was told he would be slower than average children his age. Year after year, day after day, he proves them medics wrong. You wouldn't know, you have not been here.

You wasn't there last Tuesday, when I finally got a diagnosis for his eyes, you wasn't there to hold his hand and kiss his head, tell him he will be alright, whilst he sat at yet another hospital appointment scared, you wasn't there, you never are.

I don't hate you, I think I do 99% of the time, I pity you. Your never there, your the one who misses out on everything, you don't know half of MY boys life, you don't know he's been referred back to the hospital in regards to the emergency operation he had when he was 3 weeks old, you wouldn't know, your never there.

You know more about your many of girls you see, than you do your son. We all have phones, do you ever call? Would a text hurt? My boy use to ask for you, now he rarely does, because he knows, your never there.

What hurts me the most is you used my child to stay in this country, you told immigration you needed to remain in this country because of your poorly son, the one who may as well call the doctors and hospitals his 3rd home, you told them you had parental rights.

You've never been to one doctor's appointment nor hospital appointment, your never here to help me care for him when his belly plays up, or when he takes a tumble due to his eyes. I've not spoke about MY boy's conditions on here before, nor do I try to speak about it elsewhere much either.

However you think its okay to tell the council you need a 2 bedroom property because of your son, the son you abandoned and still could not give a thought about. Do not try and tell me otherwise, because you've not even called or text, you know where we live, you ride a bike, you ride your bike to visit your girls and friends.

YET you forget the reason why your doing this, who has enabled you do this. Without MY son, you would be back home, in your home land. Thanks to MY son, you've got free reign, your a British citizen and have as much rights as anyone else here.

Your able to work, take your driving lessons and get a home here, because of MY son. Your able to visit your many of girls and so called friends thanks to MY son.

Chance after chance, I gave you, now you do not even ask for chances, just like the chewing gum you've picked off your shoe, you've forgot about OUR son. All you've ever done is helped me make him, for that I thank you. For missing out on everything in his life, I pity you.

I feel sorry for you, I am the one who gets to wake up every day with the blessing of his beautiful perfect little face. I am the one who cares for him everyday, provides him with everything he needs in life and so much more.

Take care of yourself, because MY son does not even ask for you anymore. Girls will come and go, just like men could for me, only I don't let that happen. Instead I have MY boy, I know he will be here forever and he will always be MINE. I'm not saying you should not date and mess around, I am however saying you should not forget your son for others.

I hope your other off spring soon learn what a horrid person you are. The many off spring immigration have no idea about, the ones you denied and still do lie to certain people about. None of them children are MY son's siblings, the girls you see are all known and have been round the block more than a few times, how am I to know they are actually your children?

Thanks for never being there, thanks for giving me MY boy, for not wanting him from the age 4 upwards, because I get him all to myself, and for that, our bond is unbreakable.

I smile when people tell me how well I've done, telling me I should be proud of myself doing it all alone. I am extremely proud, and for half the stuff you don't know about my child, I'll never tell you, you should know yourself, but your never there, you just don't care.

Your first baby mother, the mother of the child who kept you in this country!


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