Monday 4 April 2016

Single For Five Years, Happy For a Lifetime - Hopefully!

It was summer 2014, my friend Lucy had just tagged herself into Heathrow airport, ready to jet away for a week away in the sun with her partner, whilst my other friend Claire tagged herself and her partner into a local fancy restaurant for their date night, and then there was me - I was at home with a peel off face mask, belting out songs from the 80s and happily enjoying single life, whilst my sister had Spud for the night.

Me and my elder sister Paula had recently arranged to have each other's children once a month, so once a month Spud would go to her house, and once a month her two boys would come to me. You'd think I'd be off out enjoying my child free night, but I couldn't keep up with my friends who rated the clubbing scene, I've always been a pub girl and so would often find myself at home alone, with face mask, Galaxy chocolate and music to keep me company.

Me in the green, and Paula in the pink.
Often I would be asked if I was on the hunt for mr right, and so often my reply would be no. To be honest, after two long and unsuccessful relationships I was happy to be single. Spud's dad had cheated on me a number of times and even had someone else pregnant at the same time as me, and my second relationship ended when he left me randomly for another woman. Did I really want to put myself through another relationship - NO!

Being single meant I could concentrate on finding myself, and after being alone with Spud for so long, I got use to it just being the two of us - allowing a man into my life on a serious note just wasn't going to fit into my plans. We was due to move any day (I should say week!) and having a relationship was the last thing on my mind, but that didn't mean I couldn't talk to people, after all I was a single adult, and at night I did find myself lonely.

I would often log on to and have a selection of people to talk to, but after speaking to the same people for a few weeks, I often found myself getting bored and realised there wasn't a spark there. However, there was one person who I really hit it off, his name was Ethan and I soon found myself counting down the hours until it would be night time so I had a few hours free to speak to him.

It soon came to the moving process, sorting out items I'd not seen for years, chasing my council, arranging a moving date over and over again, packing, making up boxes and so on. I underestimated how stressful moving was, previously I had only moved once and that was when me and Spud left my parent's home, and I didn't have a lot! This time round though, I had a home to pack and move!

I unintentionally forgot about Ethan, I had so much going on, I literally had time for Spud only. I didn't even speak to the girls much as the moving literally took over my life, beside that I was a full time single mum to Spud and I worked also. There just wasn't anytime to speak to anyone, let alone having hourly conversations online every night.

The move soon come, it was a house - something Spud had wished for every year after living in a flat for so many years, but it needed an awful lot of work doing to it. Again if I wasn't being a mum, working or cleaning the house, I would be un-packing or decorating somewhere, I just didn't have time for anyone.

So when the day of December the 13th come round, and I realised Spud would be going to my sisters for the night, whilst I booked in with the girls for a night out attending my brother's friends birthday party I wasn't looking forward to it. I gave Spud his dinner, and with an hour to go before my sister collected him, I called her up and told her not to worry as I wouldn't be going out. I then called my friends one by one and cancelled on them too.

Enjoying a movie with Spud, I didn't expect the door to go at 6:20pm to find my sister Paula stood there. The first thing she said is I've been trying to call you, but I turned my phone off so no one could call me, I needed and wanted the peace. Paula wasn't taking no for an answer about me not wanting to go out, so I said fine you can take Spud but I'm still not going out as it's too late to sort through the boxes to find my going out clothes, my hair straightners and make up! Paula then ran up my stairs and helped me pick out an outfit whilst I was adamant once they'd left I'd enjoy a drink and have an early night. 

Only 10 minutes after Spud left with my sister, armed with a bunch full of toys for him and his cousins to play with my door knocked, it was Lauren, she too moaned about my phone being off whilst I poured us a drink. No more than 30 minutes passed when Annessa turned up, the third person to moan about having my phone off, and then finally within an hour of Spud and Paula leaving Karla arrived - having a right go about my phones being off!

None of them was taking no for an answer, whilst I was persistent I wasn't leaving my home and they should go and enjoy the night without me, a few drinks later and I found myself in the bath at 8:50pm! A quick rush of my hair and make up and I was at the pub by 10pm, where I bumped into Gareth - my once sworn enemy!

I've not looked back since, Gareth proposed to me in June 2015 and we've now been together for 15 months (nearly!). After being single for five years, I had time to realise my worth, and if I ever got with a man again he should hold certain values, my Gareth holds all of them and more. He is the perfect gentleman, and without sounding too much like a young soul in love, I do hope it last forever.

Jada x


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