Tuesday 31 January 2017

A Letter To My 16 Year Old Self.

Dear Jade,

It's your future self here, writing to you, I'm 26 and 10 years into the future. 

You're 16 years old, living at home with a baby boy, a relationship that you know isn't perfect, but a relationship you're in, a relationship that you've grown to love, but hate at the same time.

You're studying at college, you don't have dreams, but you have visions, your baby boy is your life, and he still is 10 years on.

You're battling off stereotypical views every day, you get stared at, you get asked questions, and you get judged.

''You're too young to have a baby, you're a baby yourself''.

You do have a baby though, and nothing will change that - nothing in this world.

You don't regret your baby, and you still don't 10 years on.

You don't wish you waited, and you still don't 10 years on.

Nothing would've been done differently.

Your 16, with a baby, in college and in a unhappy relationship.

You think you need Spud's dad in your life - I wish I could tell you that you don't.

You're 26 now, and you're happy, along with your not so little baby boy, he turns 11 in a few months.

You're marking your house a home - yes you have a house, with a massive garden.

You also have a dog - you know them animals you're scared of?

You're also with a friend of Jamie's, happily engaged and dreaming of your wedding.

Yes your getting married.

Things do change, I promise.

Yes you'll still be judged.

You'll still get asked those stupid and pointless questions.

You'll still be told that life could've been different.

However, you'll have courage, and you'll have a strong voice.

Your 16, and you feel as though you've let your baby down.

You feel like you've done the wrong thing, because this is it now isn't it? You're going to be judged, you're going to be told you can't possibly cope with a baby, you're going to be told you're horrible for bringing him into this world.

10 years on and things are better.

It's a few months before your 27th birthday, a few months until your baby boy turns 11.

You're both happy in life.

You have your amazing son, an amazing job, an amazing family, and one amazing partner riding beside you.

You got here Jade, YOU.

No one else put you here, no one else got you and your son here but you.

Dear 16 year old past me, if I could say one thing, I'd say do what you've got to do, don't change nothing, be proud of your voice and your views. Life doesn't work out the way we want it too, and that's fine. It doesn't make you a failure, it makes you stronger.


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