Young Mums In The News

Well as you all should know by now I become a Mother at the age of 15 and because of this I am stereo typed, I am called names and labelled as just another statistic. In the last week I have read 2 interesting articles, one about teenage mothers and one about older mothers.

On Wednesday (the 23rd January) I read an article posted on various news sites with the title Teenage Mothers are looking for affection/love. Just from the title alone I was fuming, you know the saying never judge a book by its cover, well if this was a book I would of hated it, still I would of purchased it because it fascinates me how so many people still judge Teenage Mothers. Lacey Banghard (best known for her cleavage on page 3 and more recently Celebrity Big Brother) can do one with her pathetic name, I feel sorry for the girl, she's famous because of her body and doesn't have a real clue about the systems in Britain, that sentence from me comes after Lacey's spat at young mothers and un-employed people in Britain, that's just starting another whole new topic (politics) so I won't go into her stupid story.

So Teenage Mothers are looking for affection this is according to research carried out in an area with one of the highest rates of teen ­pregnancy. While the vast majority of teen pregnancies are unplanned, evidence from a study conducted in Tayside shows that many young women who deliberately get pregnant do so as a means of moving into adulthood. NHS Tayside carried out the research to gain a better understanding of young pregnant women, given the region's historically high rates of teen pregnancy compared to other parts of the country, Holyrood's Health Committee was told on Tuesday.Scotland has a higher rate of teenage pregnancy than most other Western European countries. Teenage girls living in deprived areas are four times more likely to become pregnant than those living in affluent areas.

Ann Eriksen, executive lead in sexual health at NHS Tayside, said: “Some of the things that emerged from that piece of research – among those young women who had said that they wanted to be pregnant, they wanted a baby – was very much around looking for love, looking for affection, looking for… someone they could love unconditionally, that would love them in return.

The articles also go on to say other factors that teenage mothers continue their pregnancies for (because we are made to feel that abortions are the better way) with some of the factors being;

  • Gaining recognition and status within families and within their communities.
  •  Family history was also a factor, with several young mothers themselves the result of a teenage pregnancy.
  • There was a hope that they would be able to get their own accommodation, to be able to move out of the family home
 Dr Lorna Watson, consultant in public health at NHS Fife, agreed that deliberate teenage pregnancies often involved issues such as self-esteem and "the degree of respect afforded within their relationship, within their community".

This rubbish really does get on my nerves, I sometimes feel like I should stop trying to prove that I am different from the majority of teenage mothers but I do not want to be associated with the likes of these wrongens (because they are just that in my eyes). We hear it all the time, she only had a baby for the money, she only had a baby to trap her boyfriend, she only had a baby for the council flat, bla bla bla.

People need to start realising that me and you, her and him, her and her, him and them, we ain't all the same, just like me and the stereo typical teenage mother. I never wanted to leave home, I stayed at home till I was 18 and then me and my Dad both decided it was time for me and Spud to find our own place so we both had the freedom we was entitled too. Yet if I was just a 18 year old girl with no child and I wanted to leave home at 18 for freedom, I wouldn't of got judged would I? I bet your thinking that in your head right now, no one judges non parents for leaving home at 16,17,18 but when your a mother, you've done wrong, your just a burden to society and all that nonsense. I worked, I studied and I raised a baby all by myself who is now 2 months away from being 7 and is one of the most polite well behaved children you could ever meet.

I really could rant and rant all day long about society, teenage mothers and the way we are stereo typed but now I am going to move onto the second article that caught my eye, ''Nearly half of births in England and Wales are to mothers over 30 (according to this). That doesn't mean the other half are teenage parents, do you know there are mothers at 60 plus giving birth? What about them mothers do they get judged? Of course they do!!!!!! Yet they don't get as much stick as teenage mothers though do they, not from the media, not from most statistics. Their children however will get bullied, they will be mistaken for being the mothers grandchild, possibly even great grandchild.

I am not trying to start a debate but I am interested in people's views on the following;

1. Is it better to become a teenage mother?
OR
2. Is it better to become a OAP mother?

If you would like to voice your opinion I'd love to hear it, please leave a comment below and if you have the time please give me your reasons as to why you choose your selection.

Because I am a teenage mother I obviously would say becoming a teenage parent is better, my reasons for this are;
  • We are younger and generally more fitter then OAPs, we can run after our children and will not help from younger more able people to help keep our children safe if we want a trip to the park for example
  • Everyone knows that as we age more and more problems start, we start loosing our hearing and our eyesight, of course this could happen to anyone of any age but generally more in the elderly.
  • We will not need our children to start looking after us, as our bodies age things stop working, of course some elderly parents get put into homes, what would happen to the children, they would of course be shipped off to family or even placed into care themselves.
 My list could go on and on and on, pages full of reasons, literally.

Get involved!!
Jade x

 Sources:
www.itv.com
http://www.paisleydailyexpress.co.uk
www.scotsman.com
http://www.guardian.co.uk
http://www.ons.gov.uk


10 comments

  1. hi hun I think that OAP mums are selfish as there is such a high risk of them dying b4 the child is grown which is just so sad to think a young child may have to go through such a loss. Teenage mums i think as long as they dont expect there parents todo all the work then its all good as they have more energy to play and have fun with there kids.

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    1. I couldn't agree with you more, aging is a natural part of life, everyone ages inside so having botox, lipo suction, face lifts and what other medical magic is out there, we can not stop our aging process. Having said that, there is talk of young girls not being mentally mature enough to raise a child!

      Jade x

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  2. I love this post! However find the walking stick comment a little offensive as I use one and I am only 23, many parents use them, young, old or in-between! I think its a personal choice for everyone, I was a young mum pregnant at 18 so not as young as some but still judged as I look younger! I hate the stigma, however that stigma is there for a reason but we should not all be branded the same. Older mothers take a bigger risk, which is the risk to their health, however they are not judged as cruelly. x

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    1. Hello lovely, I am sorry for the walking stick remark, I removed it straight after your comment as reading back it did come across as offensive.

      I agree, people say not to judge a book by its cover but whenever a young girl is seen with a pram we are labelled as bad mums!

      This is exactly my point, we are judged so much more where as older mothers are not!

      Jade xx

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  3. Great post hun. I think sometimes people just need to butt out of other peoples business. I don't care if a parent is 15 or 55, it is their choice to have a baby and nothing to do with me.
    Personally, I wouldn't have had a baby when I was younger as I was more focused on school and couldn't be bothered with boys but also I wouldn't have a child when I'm older either as I was to be able to have the energy to play with them and take them out places, live to see them get married etc. They are my opinions on myself though not anyone else, they are my preference.
    Although I do get called a young mum even though I had my first at 21 and was already married. I see the nasty looks I get when I've got both boys with me.

    In my opinion, everyone has the right to have a child when they want, whether they are young, old or disabled, it's no one else business!

    Thanks, I'll shut up now :-)
    http://www.adventuresofayorkshiremum.co.uk/

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    1. Hello lovely,

      Ahh if only people would stop getting involved and judging then I wouldn't have to write very long post lol. I do however want to hear other's opinions so I am glad I published the post.

      Thats fair enough hun at least you was concentrating on studying and staying away from boys, not a lot of girls at that age could do the same lol. I did carry on with my education with a Young Mums group which was totally amazing, and most properly the reason why I make beautiful scones aha.

      Ahh it's sad that we have experienced the horrid looks from strangers, what bothers me is druggies walking around with children! How on earth they get to keep their children is beyond me, their children are a obvious mess, which of course is the parents fault, bad hygiene both oral and body wise, I don't think I will ever understand this Country sometimes!

      Your welcome to come rant when ever you want, Jade xx

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  4. I was 19 when I had my first and Hubby was 18. The only time I ever felt like I was being judged, it was by midwives & doctors (not all of them, but I did get a few snotty remarks). My Granddaughters Mum was 15 when she had her and she is one of the best Mothers I know. She finshed school, went to college and now works two jobs. My Granddaughter is always well behaved, and very well looked after.

    I know some Mums in their 40's that are, in my opinion, rubbish with their kids. So I can see where you are coming from with this post x

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    1. Hello hun,

      Nice to hear from a fellow young mummy. You saying that about the midwives, I had a teenage parent midwife specially trained for young mothers who was absolutely amazing, couldn't of asked for a better midwife but in hospital after giving birth to Spud, I had one midwife who was really horrible to me. So horrible my Mum ended up having a word with her and asked a senior midwife to keep the horrid one away from me, she wouldn't let me feed Spud, dress him or change his nappy, she told me if her daughter ever had a baby at my age she would turn blue. This same midwife kept telling the doctors Spud was not strong enough to take the bottle, we tried breast feeding but due to him being prem he just didn't have the natural sucking reflex, this horrid midwife insisted on Spud being tube fed, after my Mum's word with the senior the tube was removed by a Dr and Spud was then allowed to try himself which he finally latched onto.

      I felt humiliated by that horrid lady every time I saw her, our stay in hospital lasted a week and it honestly felt like the most longest week of my life! Great to hear of your Grand-daughter's mum doing such a good job, another walking proof that not all young mothers are bad!

      I agree, baby P always springs to mind, I wonder if the statistics are higher for older mothers having their children taken into care, because to be honest although I know quite a few young mothers who leave their children with their parents every weekend so they can lead a young single care free life, I know they are amazing with their children.

      Jade xx

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    2. Thats awful, what a nasty midwife! I experienced similar, one even kept refering to me as 'girl' which really hurt my feelings, and embarrassed me in front of a doctor and other nurses. They also tended to assume that I was too young to know what to do with a baby, I looked a lot younger than 19, and they would assume that I was wrong about everything, which I was often proved right! I get really angry when people judge young Mums, it really winds me up x

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