One Day, You'll Find The Love You Always Deserved

To anybody who has ever questioned their worth because of the way somebody treated them, to anybody who has spent nights crying, days overthinking and far too much time wondering why they weren't enough for someone, this one's for you.

Whether you've experienced heartbreak, betrayal, cheating, manipulation, emotional abuse, domestic abuse or simply found yourself in a relationship where you slowly lost the person you used to be, I want you to take a moment and remind yourself of something.

You are enough. You have always been enough.

Sometimes life doesn't turn out quite how we imagined. The people we fall in love with aren't always the people who are good for us, and sometimes the people we trust with our whole hearts are the very people who end up breaking them.

Some of us know what it's like to walk on eggshells in our own homes, carefully choosing our words to avoid upsetting somebody. Some know what it's like to be controlled, manipulated, frightened or made to feel worthless by someone who was supposed to love them.

Others know the pain of being cheated on, lied to, betrayed, taken for granted or constantly questioning where they stand with somebody.

And sometimes, there isn't even one big event that makes you realise something isn't right. It's the little things that build up over time. The affection that disappears, the reassurance that never comes, the promises that never quite happen and the feeling that you're putting so much into something without getting the same in return.

Different experiences, different stories, but sometimes a very similar outcome.

You start questioning yourself.

You wonder whether you're attractive enough, interesting enough, lovable enough or whether there's something about you that makes people treat you this way.

You replay conversations, analyse situations and make excuses for things that have hurt you, hoping that one day everything will be different.

But here's something I want you to remember.

Somebody else's inability to love you properly is not a measurement of your worth.

You shouldn't have to beg somebody to show you affection. You shouldn't have to question whether you're wanted, wonder where you stand or spend your days wishing somebody would tell you how much you mean to them.

You shouldn't have to tolerate disrespect, dishonesty, cruelty or control just because you love somebody.

And you certainly shouldn't have to shrink your expectations just to make somebody fit into the future you've imagined.

Because one day...

One day, you'll stop wasting precious time trying to convince the wrong people to see your worth.

One day, you'll stop questioning why somebody couldn't give you the love, affection or reassurance you needed.

One day, you'll realise that the way somebody treated you was never a reflection of what you deserved.

One day, you'll stop feeling guilty for choosing yourself, putting boundaries in place and walking away from situations that were hurting you.

One day, you'll understand that leaving something behind doesn't mean you've failed. Sometimes it means you've finally found the strength to put yourself first.

One day, you'll meet somebody who doesn't leave you guessing. Somebody who tells you they love you, not because you've had to ask, not because they're being reminded, but simply because they want you to know.

One day, you'll experience a relationship where those three little words aren't something you spend your time waiting to hear.

One day, somebody will look at you and see everything you've spent so long wishing somebody else would appreciate.

One day, you might find your husband or wife. Somebody who wants to build a future with you, make plans, create memories, grow old together and wake up every morning knowing they've chosen their person.

Somebody who isn't frightened of commitment, who isn't making you feel as though you're asking for too much and who genuinely wants the same things out of life as you do.

One day, you'll have somebody who holds your hand in public, kisses you for no reason, sends you a message just because they're thinking about you and makes you smile at your phone like a teenager.

One day, you'll experience love without fear. Love without manipulation. Love without having to question whether you're being told the truth.

One day, you'll understand that love doesn't have to be complicated. It doesn't have to be perfect, but it should feel safe, mutual and certain.

One day you won't question yourself, asking yourself if you're dating the wrong person.

And perhaps the most important one...

One day, you'll look back and thank yourself for having the courage to walk away from anything that made you feel less than you are.

Now, I'm not saying that everybody we meet is going to be a bad person, or that people don't have their own pasts, struggles and reasons for finding certain things difficult. We're all human, and we all come with a little bit of baggage.

But understanding somebody else's struggles doesn't mean you have to ignore your own needs.

You can have compassion for somebody and still recognise that they might not be the person you're meant to spend your life with.

You can love somebody and still accept that love alone isn't always enough.

And you can walk away from a relationship without hating the person you're leaving behind.

Sometimes two people simply want different things, need different things or have different ideas of what their future looks like. And as heartbreaking as that can be, it doesn't mean you should give up on the future you want.

Please don't let a disappointing chapter convince you that the whole story is going to be the same.

If you've been through abuse, please know that what happened to you wasn't your fault. You didn't deserve it, you didn't cause it and you were never responsible for somebody else's decision to hurt you.

If you've been betrayed, lied to, cheated on, taken for granted or emotionally neglected, please don't carry that into the rest of your life as though it's something you've done wrong.

You are not too much.

You're not difficult to love.

You're not asking for the world by wanting honesty, loyalty, affection, commitment and somebody who is proud to call you theirs.

And if you're currently starting again, whether you're 20, 30, 40, 50 or beyond, please remember that there is no expiry date on finding happiness.

You haven't missed your chance. You're not too old. You're not damaged. And you're certainly not destined to spend the rest of your life settling for something that doesn't make your heart happy.

There are still adventures to have, memories to make, places to visit, laughter to share and beautiful moments waiting around the corner.

So, to anybody reading this who is hurting right now, please be kind to yourself.

You don't need to have everything figured out tonight. You don't need to pretend you're okay when you're not. And you don't need to rush into another chapter before you're ready.

Take your time. Find yourself again. Remember what makes you happy.

And never, ever forget that you deserve the same love you so freely give to others.

Because one day, somebody will give you the love you've spent so long hoping for. But until then, please don't forget to give some of that love to yourself.

Your story isn't over.

In fact, your happiest chapter might not have even started yet.

And I, for one, hope it's absolutely bloody wonderful.

Until next time,

Jada x