Tuesday 25 March 2014

I Become A Mother At 15, So WHAT!?

I'm not a people watcher, I never have been and doubt I ever will be one full time. I hold my head high, I don't stare at the floor - I obviously have a quick glance for nasty dog muck and the alike but otherwise I am confident enough to keep my head up and walk. I'm always missing out on the 'hot' guys my friends have all noticed, and the beautiful colour of that girl's hair, I just don't people watch. I've had plenty of people tell me they've waved to me and I've not seen them, or they've thought I ignored them, but again I am not a people watcher, I don't watch people.

Walking to Spud's school this afternoon, to collect my beautiful prince whom I've missed so much all day, I felt the coldness of the weather on my fingers. Now, like many this morning, I presumed, because the weather looked nice, no hats or gloves were needed on this day, but walking along, speeding and slowing my pace alternating, I wish I had some gloves at that moment, my poor fingers and toes were feeling that cold like we was stood in the north pole!

Rubbing my hands together stood on one spot in the school grounds waiting for my boy, little kids were running around on the grass whilst their mothers chatted and laughed away with one another. Those adults were all dressed accordingly as one can be, no one, including myself expected the sudden need of hats and gloves, but common sense within us made us get our coats off the hooks. Two children, who are siblings I must add, were on this trodden down piece of greenery, giggling, squealing, and running in the cold, with no coats on.

I didn't take much notice at first, I carried on trying to warm my hands, whilst thinking I wish I had pockets or even some foil to keep my fingers feeling like they was about to drop off, because I just instantly presumed maybe the children had got hot running around and their mother was holding their coats/jackets. However, I was wrong, these children had come to collect their sibling/siblings with their mother, who was dressed appropriately without a coat or jacket themselves.

It must be okay though because the woman in mention is a older mother, surely they know best and cant do no wrong can they? Maybe she drove to the school, or maybe she only lives down the road, maybe even a little further away. I know myself even if me and Spud pop down to take the rubbish out, we, or at least he puts a coat on or even his dressing gown for braving the cold for not even a minute. 

Today I people watched, I've snapped before, hundreds of times maybe, but the majority of the time its trapped in my head, with words not wanting to leave my mouth. Today I am going to scream, scream at ALL the rubbish mothers out there, young, old, in between, what ever their age, you need to be told. 

There's one person at that school that grinds my gears more than other's, my close school friends stand beside me when I say this. This woman, who seems to take no care of herself is just a poor excuse of a mother. Wearing a jacket that resembles something off the market stool in Eastenders, with ripped, holey tracksuit bottoms, she may even be seen wearing dolly shoes with, it's hard not to note this woman takes no care for herself, which is fine to an extent. 

I remember the days, just a few years ago precisely, when I would not even pop to the local corner shop without a full face of make up on and my hair straightened to perfection. Clothes went with the fashion and everything colour matched. Now, lets fast forward a few years and I am a completely different person. Whilst my make up bag and hair straighteners collect dust, I prefer the extra time in bed, the extra time spending precious moments with my son, my son who's growing older each and every single minute of the day. My son who will always be my son, but who will not always be a little boy at home.

Now a quick brush, and I really do mean a quick brush is all it takes for my hair to be deemed suitable for me, make up is forgotten about until a social event pops up on my calendar, which is maybe once-twice a month maximum and my clothes, all still fashionable can be worn with any old coat because I know there are more things important in life. However, my son is a whole entire different story, sporting the best even to school with his Clarks shoes and Joules coat, it's not about designer here it's about the way he appears.

The woman I mentioned in a previous paragraph is horrid, I am sorry, no actually I am sorry for her poor harmless children. Her children who get noticed by other children for their grubby faces and scruffy hair, the holes in their £2 Primark pumps that are not even footwear and their dry, bare and cold legs because a skirt is apparently suitable no matter the weather. This woman, who could know about my blog and be reading this for all I care, has three children, but may as well have two. It's clearly noticeable that the middle child of hers, is clearly less looked after than the others.

Never seen holding her mothers hand like her older and younger siblings, the faces of pity she receives on a daily basis is truly heartbreaking. Me and the other mums I stand and natter with are not bitchy, judgemental woman, but we cant help but talk about this so called mother. It get's you thinking if these children are brought out in this state, then what is their home like? You'd dread to think wouldn't you, we already know the mother takes no care of herself either, with her paint stained clothes that are a regular appearance.

Now I don't know the woman's personal life, but presuming she is a woman who relies on benefits, what is your excuse? Please do care to enlighten me because as a fellow mother who's relied on the state before, I know, there is no need for your children, or yourself to go around the way you do. We take note you shop in Primark as it is, as we've seen the middle child's cheap, off colour pumps, sporting noticeable holes. Clothes are cheap enough in there, so what are you spending your money on?

Your children receive free school meals, so you're not needing to spend money on lunches at school every day, your children, when they do wear school uniform, looks like it's been passed down from every child in the school, so what are you spending your money on if you don't buy school uniform? You walk everywhere, so you have no bus fair or fuel to pay for, so what are you spending your money on? Are you a woman who enjoys a drink every night? A crack pipe every morning?

In all honestly, I have no reason at all to believe this woman is a alcoholic or drug abuser, but it makes you wonder where her money is going, when it's clearly not being spent on her children. The staff at school are another wonder, you know it's not hard to see the state of those poor children, and you wonder if the school is just turning a blind eye on the situation? Or maybe they have took action, and this woman just does not care, either way, it's your children who are being effected by your ways, and it's them who do and will suffer.

This woman who is visibly older than me, gives me a stare nearly every day. Standing in the junior school ground, do I really look so out of place there? I guessed I'm the youngest parent there, having Spud at 15 and all but I am not doing no wrong, especially my child. It's not just her actually, there's a few other's too. Do you know what though!? I really couldn't care less, what you, them, he or she think's about me. I know my child has everything he needs in life, all the basics and the luxuries.

Don't brand or label me as a stereo typical teenage or young mother, I was a teenager, up until the age of 19, I am now legally a adult, albeit it a young one, so I'm branded a young mother. I'm not pretending about the digits of my age, and pretending to be older, because I know I am 23 years young, 23 years old, whatever way you optimistic look at things, but this number - 23, is just that, a number, two digits put together, combined to make a number.

Having a seven, soon to be eight year old child at the age of 23, does not make me a bad person. Was I selfish to have a child at the tender age of 15? NO! Why would I be selfish? I gave and continue to give my all to my child. I carried on with education, and placed him into private nursery. Just like older parents who may work and put their child into private nursery. I worked on and off, I took my baby and toddler, to baby and toddler groups, as he grew in age, so did the groups we attended.

I never gave up nights with him, for nights out, I don't go clubbing it's not my scene. I'm not saying I don't enjoy a drink or a break albeit, you can find me tucked away in a pub corner, engrossed in deep conversation whilst my boy is safely at his grandparents of his auntie's - my sister. I will preach, I will continue to preach, that not ALL teenage/young parents are the same. I can take photo's of mine and Spud's life, and document it for all of you, but you'll still continue to find some excuse of why I am bad.

Please take a look at all mother's around you before you heavily criticise someone because of their age. This post was in no way, endorsed to make teenage/young mothers look better, because as a fellow teenage, now young mother myself, I fall into that category and know many of the mothers in the same category as me. I went to a teenage parent group and speak to just half of those I once all spoke to, I had a epic clear out on my social media platforms and deleted the ones I didn't really like their lifestyle of. 

Cherelle, Emma and Sarah, you ladies rock! I don't look at you all because of your age, but because of the fantastic parents you are. To Sue Blackwood and her team, to Katie, may god bless your sole, you helped make us the wonderful parents you are, for that I thank you. To everyone who respected me for the mother I was, and who didn't judge because of the age I become a mother, thank you.

To everyone who looks at me, and speaks to me, like I am just another human, and not who talks down to me, because I am a mother at such a young age, thank you.

To my Spud, what can I say baby!? Me and you forever!


This post needs touching up, I wrote 1/4 of it yesterday (24th) and 3/4 of it today (25th), I am aware there may seem like there is missing parts, and you're most probably right! I will re-read, proof-read and final read this evening.


  1. I read this the night you wrote it - come back to comment.
    You are a super mum and so is your super Spud a super son!
    You rock and I am glad you got this off your chest.
    I hope the Mum you refer to picks herself up. We never know what's going on in other people's lives.
    I am glad you are proving the stereo-type wrong.
    Liska xxx