When I wrote a post two weeks ago on life drama's, I honestly went about life with an upbeat, positive attitude, repeatedly telling myself the day, week, and month was going to get better, but it didn't work. I wouldn't say the days, weeks and month got worse, I'd say they've stayed the same, only the leg pain I've been suffering with - which I didn't mention last time as it was so minor, has become quite severe!
After putting on four stone since going on the contraceptive injection in January 2015 (not that I blame that alone of course!), I thought enough was enough when I struggled to lose weight, so off I went to see my family planning nurse needing a change for my health. After a lengthy discussion, it was decided I would stay on the contraceptive injection, only I would move to a different injection.
For over a year, I had the injection which you have every three months (12 weeks), however this time, I'm now on a injection which I have every two months (eight weeks), all was fine for the first eight weeks, but now, four weeks into my second new injection, I'm struggling, I'm in a pain, and I'm feeling really down.
I'm struggling to get up the stairs without a severe calf pain, which isn't helped by a varicose vein I have, I'm struggling to walk the 15-20 minutes each way to Spud's school, I have to keep stopping on route, trying to ease the burning pressure pain, and if things wasn't bad - a few days ago a pelvic bone pain come, and hasn't left - making it even harder for me to get about without feeling horrid pain.
I'm a single mum - I'm with Gareth but we don't live together and of course, it's not his responsibility to help me out with Spud. However he is great and has been helping me out whenever he can with the school runs, although he's only been able to help with one morning school run and one afternoon school run in the last couple of weeks.
I'm sat here now wincing in pain, refusing to take another paracetamol as they're not helping, they're not even taking the pain away in any minimal form, and I don't want to take anything stronger, and start relying on them.
My washing basket is nearly full, my garden is in dire state - not having the grass cut for over two months and the weather we've had recently hasn't helped, my sister's wedding is less than two weeks away and my head is so full of worry.
I worry about walking to school with Spud in the morning, or walking back home once I've collected him in the afternoon, and the pain becoming so severe I need to call for help, I'd hate for him to worry or see me in such a state. I of course worry about the same thing happening at home, but I know he feels more safe and secure at home and will be in his own environment.
This morning after dropping Spud into school, I started my usual walk home, only I come across quite light headed, so I made my way to the shop which isn't far away from Spud's school, with the intention of buying a fizzy drink. I've fainted many of times and know fizzy drink and/or a biscuit is one of the quickest ways to get sugar into your body.
I purchased a Ribena bottle instead, as my stomach had been hurting me all morning (another thing that's been going on!) and rested against the shop wall. I text Gareth, not to worry him, but just to alert someone that I didn't feel too great, that I felt light-headed and faint. Gareth text me back straight away and suggested I caught the bus home if I had the money on me - which I did, but in my state and in this muggy, humid weather - catching the bus, just three stops up the road wasn't something I wanted to consider.
A few family members and friends have said to me recently about getting the bus to and from school, but this will cost me £30 a week for both myself and Spud - something I just can't afford at the moment, and that's by doing it the cheapest way - by buying us a weekly each.
As I mentioned my stomach previously in this post, I thought I may as well write about that also, although it's not been confirmed, I believe I may have IBS (irritable bowel syndrome), I've suffered with my stomach for five years now but over the last two years it's got really bad. I'm waiting to have a scan on my bowel, and will hopefully know more soon.
I've wondered on so many occasions if it's an allergy/a number of allergies but I now do believe it's something else, as I don't even have to eat or drink for the pain to come and not go!
So yes, that's whats going on right now!
I've not worked for over two weeks, I've not had time to speak to anyone, so I need to go and say sorry to so many blogging friends, and also apologise to loads of contacts who've not replied to - no doubt I've missed out on a few opportunities now!
I hope everyone else is well!?
Jada xx
