Monday 20 January 2014

There's No Excuse For The Bad Life You Live

We've seen the television adverts and we've read the various news adverts, we've seen the headlines and remarks, we're all familiar with their names, and know who lives at what door number - we're talking about the residence of James Turner street.

I didn't watch the first episode, and missed half of the second, but after reading awfully judge mental status upon status on Facebook, various tweets from plenty on Twitter and not to forget the disgusting comments left on newspaper websites, I made a note to watch the program aired on Channel 4 every Monday the next time it was on.

I've been on benefits, I've worked on and off too, I've been on both sides and have dealt with both experiences my self. I've budgeted on benefits and splashed my wages whilst working. I've had the snide remarks thrown at me, for not only being on benefits, but being a young mum too. I'm destined to fail apparently, I obviously have no education and of course my home must be awfully messy.

I tuned into the program with no thoughts in my head, if I wanted to watch a program it was only right if any judgement passed my lips, it was from my own views and not inflicted by any one else. Watching the episode tonight, whilst writing this post in between advert breaks, half of me feel's sorry for these people, and the other half is mad with these people.

Although there has been times when I've been on benefits and things may of seemed hard, I am grateful for my parents so much more after watching this program, I am so much more grateful for the benefit system we do have, although I don't believe it should be long term. I was taught by my mother how to make my money last, the cupboards were never empty, or the fridge and freezer too, there was always gas on the meter, along with the electric also, water was paid and so was the tv license too. 

Outfits were brought from Asda and Primark and not once did me or Spud ever look like we was on benefits, not once did we look so grubby and scruffy, clean, well fitted clothes and shoes was always seen upon us. I went to college, wanting to improve the education I already knew, I sought out the best deals and shopped around to make our money last longer.

Becoming a employee was an amazing feeling, I had a lot of education on my CV and that was thanks to my parents who home educated me, and supported me when I went onto college. My parents never hid the big wide world from me, instead they taught me right from wrong, the dangers in society and taught me the best they can to be safe when out. 

My parents are not to blame for me having Spud, nor are my friends or the role models I liked in the media. A rebellious me is to blame, but my blame is the best blame in the world, because I have been blessed with one truly amazingly, special, beautiful boy. Everything I do is for Spud, its to better our lives, I do it all for him. So I wanted to improve my educational skills and I did, I wanted to work - so I did, I wanted to be the best mum in the world - so I tried. 

I'm proud to say Spud doesn't go without for nothing, he has everything he wants in life plus more, its meant I've missed out on the top I wanted for so long many times, but in return for that top selling out by the time I got the money together, I've put the biggest smile upon my boy's face.

Watching Benefits Street as I mentioned above makes me both sad and angry. I blame the government for allowing people to get like this, I blame the parents of these people for not trying their hardest and I blame these people themselves, because as someone who's been on benefits, I know there is NO excuse to live the way they do.

So I may of dropped what ever little street cred I had when I visited the various pound and budget stores that scatter around my town, but black sacks and cleaning products were needed. A packet of 12 cleaning sponges for a £1, can you really go wrong? Being on benefits made me more determined to do something with myself, I didn't live like these people, I never knew anyone who lived like these people, and I sure as don't want to ever be like these people. 

Surely, being on benefits, sitting at home, gives you more time to do things, that home made shepherds pie you really wanted to cook after your hard day at work, but you can't because you missed your usual train and the next one is in a hours time, is possible when your on benefits because you have all that time spare. Instead of sitting on a dirty sofa, in a dirty street, why don't these people practise counting or the alphabet with their children?

Why are children being exposed to disgusting language such as shut your effing mouth? Why are these young children exposed to smoke toxins whilst their parents dish up another portion of white label chicken nuggets and fried chips? How do young children know what cannabis is, referring to it as broccoli and then weed? Why does such foul language come out of their mouths? Why are they roaming the streets and crossing roads alone? Why do they treat their parents with disrespect? Why do they argue and fight with their friends and not in a child like way? Why are these children exposed to alcohol cans and all the other things children should not be around?

It makes me sick, that these people wonder why they get a bad name. They all keep sitting on them dirty sofa's in the middle of the street, slagging off their neighbours who they are laughing with a few minutes later? Its confusing to me, another adult, I dread to think what their children think. It makes me sad that the basic life values and lessons, will never be taught to their children, how can they when these people don't know the word of please and thank you themselves?

This woman blames her children for her stress and depression, whilst laying on her sofa in a messy house. These children are living in dirty, messy homes asking for sausages and sweets, hearing things that no children should ever hear and living off unhealthy junk too. They don't work, so what is the excuse for such messy homes? What is their excuse for not looking for jobs? What is their excuse to stop smoking? To stop the drinks, the drugs? We are a country that is lucky to have the NHS, a system that gives support to help you get away from these addictions. 

Why do they hurt their small innocent children, who only behave the way they do because of the behaviour they are use too? Why do they shout abuse at these small people? Why do they talk of foreign countries when people in Africa have more sense then them? Why do they have no sheets on their little ones beds? Why do they let their children out in this world alone, with all the bad people who roam the street? In the dark too... Is the day not bad enough?

I want to blame the government, for allowing things to get this bad, yes there is a really bad shortage of jobs, and that's the governments fault for the way things have got so bad. However, I can't blame the government, because like them I've lived on benefits myself and I have never been like them, nor has my child been like their children.

Manners are free, they are free to say and free to teach, so is respect, values and morals, dignity, right from wrong and the alike. Education is free, knowledge is built up and self taught, revision is free and so is studying too. My child has thankfully never sworn and known its purpose, he once said oh poo (the swear world way) but didn't know the meaning, he did not know it was a swear word, nor did he know he was doing any wrong, he heard it from me, children only learn from those around them, and its down to us to guide and teach them the best way we can.

I'm a 23 year old mother, and no one, no matter what their age has to listen to me, they don't have to take my advice or even read my post, this is just my view on a British street and its an eye opener to see that there is help needed at home. I may be 23, and still young to many, and yes - yes I am blowing my own trumpet when I say this, but I know I tried and worked my hardest to give me and my son the life we now lead. I work to provide for my child, to make sure he gets all the correct food he needs, the nice clothes that I can afford, the toys and games he's earned for being good, the meals at his favourite restaurant - which isn't Mcdonalds, the days out and holidays we go on every year. Its not hard to turn your life around, to have a more positive look and future in life. To be helped, first you need to help yourself.

This weeks episode is just ending with one resident appearing to put down a young mother who wants to get a job and better not only her life but her child's/children's too, I look up to my flat screen tv (that I brought second hand whilst working out of my own money), feeling my jaw hit my chest, am I really hearing this? No words of support or encouragement, no well done and praises but words such as ''so you want to be normal like everyone else in the world?'' - no this mother is not normal to you clearly, she wants to better her life and of course because you all love the life you lead, you can't possibly have a neighbour do better for themselves. These people need help, serious help, first they need to help themselves first, and living in a place where you are all the same is bound to be harder, but surely it will inspire them more?

Well I'm done, I can't comment any more, I am thankful for my life, thankful for the inner me, thankful to my amazing parents for all their never ending support, help and guidance over the years, I'm thankful to my beautiful son for inspiring me each and every day!

Jada x