With a pack of quit cards sat next to me, and the smokefree logo staring at me, I'm craving more then ever for a cigarette, just one pull and I'll be happy, or so I tell myself. In reality, I know one pull would lead to one fag, one fag would lead to one packet and before I know it I'm back in that vicious evil circle - SMOKING.
I remember when they first introduced them pictures to cigarette packets, I thought soon enough I would feel physically sick and would quit, in reality, you avoid the pictures or ignore them altogether. You read the big bold warning signs informing you of what you're doing to yourself and others around you - the addiction wins, them words are ignored.
You feel the cost whether its on a daily or weekly basis, you know it adds up, and you wonder what you could do with the money you'll save by not smoking. I for example spend over £6 a day on cigarettes, on average its £6.77 however, it depends on which shop I go to, I can spend up to £7.50-£8 but we'll use the average.
£6.77 x 10 (days) = £67.70
However, sometimes, if I am within company of others, I may even buy a second packet, or a stressful day can lead me to purchasing another 10, adding another £4 onto the daily spend. So say I take that £67.70 and add another £16 (thats four x£4) that gives me a total of £83.70 and thats just the minimum spend!!!
Then there's a night out and social gatherings, I reckon I could easily spend £100 every 10 days, thats on average £10 a day, it's disgusting and it needs to stop!
I sit and think about Spud's future, I want to be around for as long as possible, I want to witness the events and achievements he accomplishes in life. I listen to him tell me about the smoking adverts, and when he preaches to me about stopping, I've said to him so many times I'll try it soon baby boy, and now I'm serious.
I woke up yesterday morning (17th March 2015) with three cigarettes, normally even just waking up with one cigarette would make me want to smoke the whole day away, or so that was one of my favourite excuses! Honestly, I've tried giving up before when a packets finished, but quitting half way through the day was just something that wasn't possible or worked for me.
So yes, back to yesterday, I smoked them three fags within two hours, determined to not have any with me when I leave the house, but secretly laughing to myself knowing I would fail and buy a packet as soon as I got you safely into school.
I went to the shop, as I usually do every day and I picked up a can of Dr Pepper and a bottle for later on (let me quit one addiction at a time!), and made my way to the counter to pay, as I do everyday, however I usually ask for 20 cigarettes too, but yesterday I didn't, and today I didn't either! I picked up a can of RedBull today, not good I know, but I'm lacking energy and need a little pick me up!
So far, I've been smoke free for over 24 hours and I've saved myself between £13.54 and £20 already in just 24 hours. In another 24 hours, that total would be £20.31 and £30, and another 24 hours after that it would be £27.08 and £40 and so on. Soon it will turn into 100s and eventually thousands.
I've downloaded an app on my phone which allows me to play a mini video of Spud, he says you can do it mummy, don't give in and think of me! I'm playing it every time I have a craving, and more than ever, I have faith in myself! I'm going cold turkey (for now) however the NHS has a number of free services that can help me if needs be!
Wish me luck!
Jada xx
