Introducing My BritMums Live 2013 Sponsor

On Saturday 2nd of Febuary 2013, I posted my BritMums Live 2013 sponsor plea, I also emailed the companies I feel I have really connected with, on Sunday the 3rd of Febuary I received a email from Popagami, and would like to introduce you to them as my BritMums Live 2013 sponsor! I would just like to say thank you once again to Popagami, entering the blogging world 6 months ago at the time of my sponsorship plea, I had no real idea about the blogging world and the reviewing opportunities. Popagami was the first company to email me offering me a reviewing opportunity for their Pop-Ette's and World of Popagami book (see review here), in fact I was the first blogger to review the items for them.

I had this post written for months, I was meant to post it in Febuary, March the latest, but with all the latest going on's, it has come to near enough June for me to post it.

The World of Popagami is a book by Philip Craik – science teacher by day, Popagami creator by night – that takes you step by step through the origami folds, showing you how to make cute, three-dimensional finger puppets called Pop-ettes.

The Independent placed the World of Popagami book in it's top 50 books for children feature, ranking in at 31 view here.



 Philip Craik is a former chemistry teacher and engineer and has been a science technician at Ardingly College in West Sussex for nearly five years. He is the creator of Popagami.

“We have had tremendous success with the book of Popagami characters,” he says. “I know what a challenge it can be to keep children occupied, but folding these little characters will create fun and interest.

“The folding instructions are easy to follow and the little characters will be popular on children’s bedroom shelves.”



The book is ideal for long car journeys and holidays and is suitable for children from age six upwards.

The World of Popagami is on sale at just £4.99 and available both online and in some major bookshops, including branches of Waterstones.

The Book Depository

Since Febuary, Popagami has gone onto become even more successful each day, appearing on Dragons Den with character made Pop-Ettes and most recently appearing at the ITV1 Soap Award events.



It's my pleasure to be sponsored by such an amazing company, a company that will never be forgotten to me, because they was the first to trust me, I was the first to review for them, a special connection that I am happy to be working with throughout my time at BritMums Live 2013.



You can find out more about Popagami on their official website here, alternatively you can find them on Facebook here or on Twitter here.

Jada xx

1

I'm Alone With My Thoughts


For the first time in 3 and a half years, I finally thought I could move on, I thought I could finally enter that whole process and stage again, taking one step at a slower then normal time, today I've realised I've took 1 step forward and 2 steps back. Don't you just hate that, you feel like your getting somewhere, then bam, the rubbish hits the fan.


I'm fully aware my post have been abit more emotional for the last few times I've blogger, I'm more then fully aware. It seems as though I'm going through what some would call a rough patch in my life. I've had two pieces of information thrown at me in the last week, two things I didn't want to hear, two things I never wanted to hear, not now, not off these two different people, one personal in more ways then the other, but the other personal in a other personal manner.

My brain is confusing me, one shoulder I have a little person screaming at me, telling me to relax, telling me to not give up, to give up on this one, move on, find something else to occupy my mind. On the other I have another little person screaming at me, telling me to not listen to the person on the left hand side, telling me to feel down, feel emotional, feel as though I'm back at square one, how I'll never be happy.

I had arranged on Saturday night to meet up with a friend, someone who has only been in my life since I was 16, but someone who I could never imagine life without now. She is amazing, I cursed her on Saturday, I called her names to myself which I now hate myself for. I'm not one to judge me, but every bad word possible come out of my mouth, out of my mind at least. I told her all week I really needed a drink, a good time on Saturday, and she 'flopped'. I told her the issue tonight, she sat on the phone using her minutes, listening to me for 25 minutes without her getting a word in edge way, I love this girl. Its all I wanted, I needed to tell someone, a friend, a special friend. Tonight she listened, and she listened properly. I appreciate it, she knows I'm always there for her, I've always been the strong one me, always there for everyone else, but just recently, I've needed someone to talk to, a figure of speech a 'shoulder' to cry on.

You see, you can't just open up and share your feelings and personal life with anyone can you? When the serious problems hit the fan, you just can't. You may be able to share with the world some exciting news, and some devastating news, but what about the news that doesn't quite fit either of them categories? Indeed not the exciting one by all means. I'm so glad Spud's on half term, I love my boy, everyone loves their children of course, but for me, he is the only one. Of course I love my family, but I'm not with them every day, all day, I don't have a partner to share my love with, all my love, forever goes to Spud, but it would be nice to share my heart with another adult, those deepest secrets, those problems, those funny memories that will never leave your memory, it would be nice to have someone listen, someone who can be a real shoulder to cry on, and someone who can move your hair to the side, kiss your forehead and tell you everythings going to be alright.

Spud's been in my bed for the lights (Monday night and tonight), I stare at his beautiful perfect little face, knowing it will stay beautiful and perfect forever and wishing it would stay little forever. I wish Spud didn't have to grow up, everyone hits rubbish in their lives at some points, every adult has their fair share. I wish I could keep Spud a child forever, going about his daily business of interacting with his imaginary friends, playing with his toys and giggling away at the most un-funniest of things, just because he's a child and he can.

No matter what, I knowledge there is always someone out there who's in a worse situation then myself. I appreciate everything I've got, everything I've had, and everything I'll have (too an extent). I'm extremely grateful to be blessed with a perfect little boy, who I know is the only person I'll ever need in my life. I'm thankful for 'family and friends' understanding and knowing some other's don't have that. I'm graceful to know I have money, not money to splash, but money to see us through, money for food, gas, electric, water, our home and our tv's (because I couldn't miss Hollyoaks and Eastenders). I appreciate it all, all of what I've mentioned and so much more.

I leave you with a favourite quote of mine ''every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better'' a phrase from today I shall believe in, because to keep oneself sane, sometimes, just sometimes we really do have too. This is life, a game, a set plan, who know's, we are simply just individual's living as we do.

Until next time,
Jada
x
0

Friends..!? What Are They!? Where Are They!?


I've always had a love for English/Literacy, English was by far one of my most strongest points in school. I've always loved reading and writing, my earliest memory was aged 3, when I won a competition at nursery for a story and colouring competition. My competition prize was a video (old school!) called Little Pig Robinson, I treasured that video for many years, oh how I wish they would release it onto DVD! Sometimes the smallest things can bring back so many happy memories...

I read books to self educate, to let my mind escape into another place, I'm a very fast reader and have been known to read 300+ page books in a day, if the books a good read, I just can't put it down. I write to let feelings out, sometimes it comes naturally and sometimes it doesn't. Some would argue feelings should be kept to yourself, only for you to know, I argue on a debate otherwise. I too sometimes believe feelings should be kept to oneself, but sometimes writing and exposing the feeling is a great relief, I'm sure many of my fellow bloggers would agree.

No real blogger started blogging for the fabulous perks, something I have took part of in the past & will continue once I am back on my feet. A blogger finds a niche and sticks to it, they write, we write, Its what we are good at. I love how everyone has their own unique ways of writing, and when reading a post on fellow blogger's sites, I know its them. I'm not saying you could send me a unnamed post and expect me to identify the writer, but I notice little techniques, the favourite word's that get used on a regular basis throughout many different post.

To be true to someone else, you have to be true to your self, I don't know where I am right now in life. I'm still young, 23 precisely, but I feel so much older, I don't want to look back on life in twenty years time and regret the stuff I didn't do, the things I planned that didn't happen doesn't bother me, I say unplanned is always the best plans. I'm not saying them plans, thoughts and visions I once had don't upset me knowing they didn't happen, of course they do, but what can we do!? Life must go on. I've hit a difficult time in my life, I'm questioning friendships, relationships and myself.

Where's all those people who promised to be there for you in your hour of need!? Why when I talk to my girls, are they turning it around to themselves? Always a strong one, not one needing a shoulder to cry on, the one time I need them, they turn the conversation around to them, their life dilemma's. That hurts. I'm tired of being there for everyone else but myself, why should I continue to be the nice person I know I am!? When not one person who vowed they was friends, can ask how I'm doing today.

Friend's also don't disappear when they have new relationships, you can have a relationship and still make time for your friends, you know the people who was there before your partner, the ones that will always be there!!

I know everyone has their own lives, me included, I'm a busy Mum who's life is never at rest, even when Spud's not with me, my mind never rest. I'm not asking any of my friends to drop plans, but if you've not got any, a visit would be nice. I need to find myself again, I need a comfort zone and a few good friends who I know will be there for me, in the very few times I'll need them.

That is all,
Jade
6

Stop Panicking, Your Child's Photo's On Facebook Are SAFE!!!

Sometime last week, a few statuses posted within minutes of each other caught my eye, something along the lines of a site is taking pictures from your Facebook and sharing it with everyone, me being me, the mad worried and paranoid person I am started panicking. When I say I'm worried, mad and paranoid, that's only when it comes to my Spud! I started doing a little investigating, posting around on the blogging groups on Facebook asking for some help, the lovely fellow bloggers I have explained to the best of their knowledge what was going on, I was relieved, you will be too once you've read this post.

Sit back, relax, stop looking for a number for Facebook head office and let me explain to you what's going on. Facebook has a feature called pages, I have one myself for Unique Young Mum which you can find here, Facebook pages can be made by anyone really, they come in different forms and to the best of my knowledge and wisdom, there are a few categories (that's what I am aware of), fan pages like Unique Young Mum, and community pages (which is the pages that have caused such panic) are the two I am most aware of. Fan pages is a page that anyone, like me or you have made up, just like I did for Unique Mummy Blog, then we have the community pages which I believe after my research are created from Facebook when a number of people link to the same interest. 

One that has been doing its rounds recently is one called babies, children or anything related in between. People have been clicking on these pages and have been horrified to find photo' of their children, family member's children or friend's children. Panic sets in as you realise 'the whole world' can see the photo's you thought you had maximum privacy settings on, your getting angry, you report the page, I know your thinking it, because I was exactly the same. On doing some digging, I was relieved to know that its not the whole word feasting their eyes on photo's of my child, my family member's or my friend's children. 

Everyone has a Facebook profile and I'd say at least 50% of people have photo's uploaded onto their timeline or into specific albums, so if I'm your friend and I want a nosey through your photo's, I can see them all, if someone is not your friend then they can not see your photo's (depending on your privacy settings) so what happens when we click on these community pages is we see photo's from all our friends and family that Facebook have very cleverly pulled from our many albums and uploaded timeline post. Not any two people will ever see the same photo's because the photo's you see depend on who is on your friends list. 

It's like checking out everyone on your friend's list photo's, with the only difference being is, instead of checking everyone's individuals profiles, you in fact can see multiple photo's all on one page. You may see a photo of a child/children you don't know, but guaranteed one of your friends/family members has uploaded the photo.

So remember, not everyone and anyone can see the photo's on these pages, its only the people you are friends with who can see such photo's of your child/children. It's just like them coming onto your profile and having a look at your photo's, only they get a collage of photo's from all their friends with that specific search term, I am talking about the term babies, children etc. One I have come across just now is here, you can see on the right hand side of the page Facebook have included a box stating ''This Page is automatically generated based on what Facebook users are interested in and not affiliated with or endorsed by anyone associated with the topic''.

I hope this subject can bring rest to some of you going out of your minds with worry.

Until next time,
Jada xx
2

And Yet Again, I Find Myself In This Situation..

The time is 3:02am, I have not been to sleep and I should be up in less then 4 hours to get Spud up and ready for school. I got into bed around 11pm, within 25 minutes I got the horrid feeling of being sick, every time I moved, my head pounded like I was being thrown around on a mad fun fare ride. I'm tired, stressed and feel sick, I feel faint constantly and just wish I could sleep. I resorted to coming to the front room, such an amazing plan entered my head, I'll do an all nighter, only I am not 14 anymore, I am a tired Mum who has no such time for things such as all nighters. I'm stuck in a situation though, if I try and go to sleep now, which no doubt will happen, will I wake up on time, will I hear my alarm!?

It's times like this I wish Spud's Father was more involved, I wish for once in his life he could do the school run, it wouldn't hurt him, but he wouldn't even attempt to do it, too scared who he will be seen by, who will find out he's got a child, or maybe just maybe he doesn't give a damn care for his child's school educating life! Yes I think I'll go with that story.

I need sleep, proper sleep, if I manage to get a few hours before 7am, I'll be tired either way, I'm going to be a walking zombie doing the school run, forcing myself to pass the three local shops within my area, telling myself not to cave in for an energy drink. I started to get a little bit addicted to them, having at least 1 Monster energy drink a day, sometimes two and sometimes even three, friends, family and myself thought that maybe I was becoming I'll because of them, but I don't think it is, it's still here and I have not touched a single energy drink for the last week.

I get scared at times like this, I'm constantly pushing it to the back of my mind, then when the abnormal and severe pain comes, I worry, I question myself and pray its not something serious. I've got the doctors again tomorrow (Wednesday) it's now become my second home, I'd like some answers, and if its more blood test then so be it, I need to know what's going on inside of me, I've reminded Spud so many times in the last couple of weeks as to what he needs to do in an emergency, that's what I'm most fearful of, something happening if I'm alone with Spud.

I just hope and pray that nothing does happen, I hope the doctors can find the reason to the way I'm feeling.

Jade xx
1

Playing For Keeps DVD Review

When ever someone mention's Gerald Butler I automatically get excited, a warm feeling spread's within me and a smile breaks free. When I was asked if I would like to review Playing For Keeps a new DVD due to be released on the 20th of May featuring the very man himself (Gerald Butler) I typed as quickly as my fingers could agreeing to take out the review. 



I vowed I would watch the DVD as soon as it landed through my door, this didn't go to plan and I'm glad it didn't. I waited until the weekend when I had more free time, a glass and a half in my hand, chocolate beside me and the boy tucked up in bed, I decided it was date night, me, the glass, the sofa, the chocolate and the DVD, a single woman's perfect night!

I'm not jealous :/ honestly!!!

Gerald Butler plays the role of George Dryer, a retired footballer who seems to be having a little crises with his life. A father of one to his son Lewis, George soon comes to realise what he is missing out on in his life and moves away to be closer to his son and ex wife Stacey (played by Jessica Biel). George start's coaching Lewis's football team and tries as it seems to impress his son's Mum, his ex wife Stacey. It's only to expect the attention George receives with his beautiful looks from the sideline football Mum's supporting their children. George has a lack of parenting skills which he slowly picks up on, slowly.



Maybe not one for the kids, but something us singletons and couple's can watch together (not that I know but it has football in!? Playing For Keeps is out to own on DVD and Blu Ray from the 20th of May 2013 with a certificate of 12A and a RRP of £15.99 for DVD and £17.99 for Blu Ray. 



0

Dear Dad

This post is dedicated to my amazing Father, tear's already well in my eyes as I expect this post to get emotional. Happy Birthday Dad, another year older but not a clue to suggest it, here's to another joyous and loving year, may you have a fantastic day, because if one man out there deserve's it, it's you Dad, and I honestly mean that from the bottom of my heart. Your always there for me and Spud, but not only us, the whole family, your other 5 children and other 5 grandchildren. Some would argue coming from a bigger then average family the parents would have favorites  not with you Dad, we all know you love us all equally, my amazing Dad.


A Very Big Premature Me & You, My Amazing Father.

My amazing Father, where on earth do I start, I could write a book about you Dad, I'm crying whilst writing this, tear's dropping onto my freshly washed hair, but tonight Dad, I don't care. It's happy tear's Dad, I don't even know why I'm crying, I couldn't have a bad word to say about you apart from the rabbit pie lol. Your always there for me, you never get mad, no matter what I do. I come to live with you when I was young, around 9 year's old if I can remember rightly, of course I missed Mum terribly, but the transition seemed easy, we lived on the boat at first, school friends would call me and Jamie 'Rosie and Jim' and would listen to our stories with mouth's wide open. I remember when I was at primary school and you brought in loads of the boat stuff, kind of like a show and tell stand, the whole year and every teacher would admire the beautiful pieces there eyes were settled on, I'd watch their every move, every finger that touched your property, telling myself if anything got ruined I'd go mad. 

I remember being a quiet child if I can remember rightly, maybe I got mischievous and gobby sometimes, but overall I remember being good, I remember the school reports and school evenings, how proud you'd be as the teacher would inform and update you on my work and behavior. I loved junior school, I was in a beautiful school out of the way, one that was respected and religious, the regular Church visit's was something all the pupil's looked forward too, including me. You'd take us along to the school fayre's, the school dance's and Christmas parties, always one to join in the fun when parent's were asked todo a tug of war you was always on of the first to put your hands up.

Me and Jamie never went without, you worked hard, you slept minimum and had very little time for yourself, any time you had off work was spent whisking me and Jamie (as the other's were all older) to Legoland, Chesington or Thorpe Park, when the other's had time off work, they'd come along too. You've always been a family man, I watch your expressions when we're all together, growing rapidly it may seem, you still invite us into your home with as much love as the days we was born. I know I couldn't possibly remember my new born days, or maybe even memories before the age of 3, I do however know I was brought up, showered with love always.


Your 6 Grandsons, Your Still Waiting For Your Dolly.
When I stated this blog, you listened to me every day for the first few months, you even came along to Disney HQ in London for my first event, I'm glad me and Spud shared the day with you, because I know your really pleased for me, your happy and proud. My biased Father who always tells me I'm beautiful. I could have no make up on, or even make up that is looking mucky after being on all day, but you Dad always find a way to make me believe I'm special. You are the only man who could tell me I'm beautiful and whom I'll believe. 

I've always been big, I was born 5 weeks premature and weighed 7lb 4oz, you nearly got in a fight when I was just hours hold (if I can remember the story right) another father on the premature ward had asked why I was there, and you said she's premature mate, the man replied are you joking, come and look at the size of my baby, you got defensive since the minute I was born. My very biased Father, thank you!

I don't know what happened when I was a teenager, in a sense, it was like I rebelled outside, I got an ugly attitude and started arguing and fighting over stupid things. I first got arrested when I was 13, you didn't go mad at me, you sat down and spoke to me, you was there when I got arrested the next time, the time after that and so on. I've got a past I'm not proud of at all, but I believe that past has made me who I am today, with help and encouragement from you and Mum. I'm not saying I've changed completely  you know only too well I snap at people and do tend to have arguments but I feel your the only person who can calm me down.


You & Spud.
A Father's cuddle is just what I needed last year, when a seagull horridly pooed on Spud on holiday. I saw red, people surrounding me thought I was a nutter, whilst I ranted and raved and threw cans of Monster energy drink at passing seagulls. I called you Dad, I said I need a gun, I'm going to kill them, it's funny now when every one talks about it, Paula and Helen was at my side whilst I was kicking off, it was only you though who could calm me down when we met in the car park 5 minutes later.

I ring you when I've had a bad day, when I need a break and your there, through text by phone or visit, your there, always praising me and telling me how proud you are of me. I cherish the years of memories, and love you so much. I thank you for helping me with Spud, trying as hard as we can to toughen him up, but it seem's he is not like us after all lol. What I'm trying to say Dad, is thanks for being there always, and forever, because I know you always will be. I call you when a spider is on the verge of killing me via a heart attack, I call you when I need help, sorry to ask Dad, but I need something doing I'll say. You always help me, weather I need a nail banged into the wall, or if I need something from the attic, your the first person I think of to ask, and your the first person to never moan or complain, no jobs to small and no jobs to big. You work yourself but your never off duty as a parent, always being a taxi for one of us, or helping one of us out in our time of need.

Being the only single one of your kids, and now Mum's not local anymore, I appreciate the help you give when you have Spud for the night, there has been a number of times you have had Spud and I've just ended up staying in alone going to sleep, just to catch up and have a proper night's sleep, I really do appreciate everything, the times you've left work, or been waken in the middle of the night to help me or Spud out down the emergency doctor's or hospital. Not just the sleepover's you've gave Spud, but the bike rides and the other thing's a child should do with his Dad, your his super Grandad, if you say to him who do you want to see, Dad or Grandad, his answer is the same every time without fail.

My tall strong Dad with a body covered in tattoo's, all my friends thought you was so cool when we was kids, and they still do now, especially when you go round the roundabout 5 times and beep and wave at anyone for a bit of fun. My Dad, the Chelsea F.C fan, my Dad, the amazing man!

I truly hope you have a special day, we can't wait to see you, Spud chose all the presents this year, and yes Dad there all pair's of socks lol (my Dad doesn't like us spending our money on him, so each year without fail we get 'I only want a pair of socks, he never does get just the socks though). I could write loads more Dad, I could write a book, a never ending book on how special you are to us, for now I'll leave you to it, hoping you had time to read this post.


Your Youngest Baby Girl, Me!
Love you more then words can ever begin to explain, forever and always, from your youngest baby girl, Jadey xxxxx
1

Reasons, Answers & Explanations

It's not hard to see that I've been quite AWOL from Unique Young Mum, I've still been here, every night I sit on the laptop and go to my homepage, I read old post and giggle and smile away to myself. I have not ran out of post, I have plenty, there's over 20 in the draft section alone, that's not including the draft's I've wrote on my phone on the way home from the school run, the endless word and notepad document's, my writing mojo has not gone, so what's going on!? I wish I knew myself, I wish I could turn inside out, I wish I knew what was going on inside my head, only he upstair's knows the answer. 

I started this blog in August 2012 with an idea, that idea still exist, the plan of action still somewhere in the midst of things, not loss, just not having a place to settle. Friends and family know me, everyone need's someone they can confide in, but not even half of them know whats been going on themselves  because I don't know what's going on. I don't mean to do it, but I'm closing up again, I'm pushing people away and distancing myself. I feel like I need a break from everything, I just wish I could whisk me and Spud away to Disney Land, a place all about Disney, a passion me and Spud share.

Spud is my life, I hear him snoring now whilst I stare at this screen and type, this post is seemingly filling up, so why last night was I sat here for minutes and hour's wracking my brains with idea's on what to type!? I could write about Spud all day long, but he's my life, and as much as I love showing off his beautiful little face, I can't share everything with the world. Call me selfish but I raised him, I still continue too, I will forever be there for him, in any way possible, I'll be there for my beautiful perfect Prince. I want to shout from roof tops sometimes, tell everyone how proud I am and tell you all of another one of our adventure's, but he's mine, he's not his Dad's, where has he been for the last 7 years!? Nowhere near Spud. What's he done in the last 7 years!? Nothing to shout about. 

I don't hate my baby father, I was brought up knowing hate was a very strong word, it would take a lot for me to hate someone, dislike on the other hand is something I can say. I see Spud's sperm donor in town yesterday, on a girly breakfast date with my cousin, I noticed him coming towards us, he asked how his son was, a father shouldn't ask a father should know. I really hate it (I do say hate, but I won't say I hate someone) when people presume he's the love of my life because I had a child with him. You couldn't be any more wrong, looking back now, I never did love him. My first love was my ex, the one who made me confident about myself, the one who praised me, respected me, valued me and loved me back. I'm scared for the next time, I've been in two relationships, I'm scared I'll once more have to say my ex, I'm not saying I want a forever because I don't know what the future holds. It would be nice to feel cherished, respected, complemented, valued and loved by a man once more.

At night times, I get lonely, I sometimes get scared (if a terrorist should appear from no where - a spider), I want to watch a scary DVD, but I'm too scared of that, I want to share laughter with someone, I want a cuddle, a kiss, I want someone to share my secrets with, someone I can share my happiness with, love with and so much more. I know I'm a nice person, but I wonder if I'm too nice when it comes to relationships, I don't want a guide book, I don't need one, but I've had two unsuccessful relationship's, so I've done something wrong haven't I!? I must of done something to be cheated on, lied too and fell out of love with, it must be me I tell myself constantly. I'm at the biggest I've been in my life, I was smaller then, I thought I looked okay, I've never liked my teeth, but I question myself, was it my size? My teeth? What was it about me!? How has this post turned soppy!? These word's can't stop, but for so long I've not known what to write about, isn't it weird how the mind works.

In a week there's 7 days, 168 hours and a million ways, every days different and we never know when our lives will change. I take it day by day, I don't even like planning nights with my girls as I believed the unplanned night's are the best ones. The future is anytime from now, one minute ago was the past, one minute away is the future. Next week is part of the future I'm not too keen on approaching. I have been poorly/ill well no actually, I just keep feeling funny, it's not all the time, but it is becoming a part of my daily routine. It's not at a particular time, and not after a particular movement. My blood pressure keep's dropping and I become lightheaded leading me to feel faint, thankfully I know the feeling of fainting after having experienced the unpleasant feeling a few times, so I know what to do, but it's not always preventable. It's back to the doctor's next week for me, more test are needed the receptionist informed me when I called on Monday for my blood test results, did she mean more blood test or other test? Panic entered my mind whilst the receptionist booked me in for the next available appointment with the doctor who's been dealing with me. Anxiously I wait, I hope we can find a reason, I hope I get answers and finally an explanation. I'm thinking as positively as I can, I'm keeping my chin up and my head even higher. The future's bright isn't it!?

I am slowly coming back onto the blogging scene, I've had a break from it all, de-stressed and realised how much the blogging community mean's to me! I miss my blogging cyber friends and the never ending support these lovely ladies have.

Jada xx
1

Never Ever Judge


I've been talking to a friend for the last week and we got onto the conversation of judgement last night. I've mentioned previously I've been judged, A LOT! I get judged on a daily basis because of my age, not because people know my age, of course many people do, but them stranger's who stare when my child calls me Mummy. They, them strangers, they stare at me with their nosey eyes, you can tell by the look on their faces their baffled, their trying to guess with their small little mind's how old or how young the girl they are staring at is. Not a wrinkle or sag to be seen, and still getting asked for ID in shops, I'm guessing I still have a young face, no one has ever guessed I'm 23, never a day older but always younger.

So I get judged by these strangers, as they continue to stare backwards and forwards from myself to Spud, I can imagine two voices in their head whilst I smile to myself, I smile at my son, bemused at these people who are holding up the que because standing behind the till is the cashier who's called for the next customer twice. I look to the person who's been staring backwards and forwards from me and Spud for the last 6 minutes continuously and politely tell them the checkout is available. Its then that I get another confused stare whilst they mutter thank you, I think I got judged again, was they expecting me to say ''are you waiting in this que for fun or something'' expecting a young female to be sarcastic, rude or for something more inappropriate to come out of my mouth.

Whilst they quickly pick up pace to get to the till, I think of the cashier standing behind it, they have to use judgement every day, people arrive at her checkout and ask for cigarette's, a bottle of cheap vodka & a lottery ticket, that till operator has to use her judgement, do they look old enough to buy such items? Will you offend the person if you ask for ID? I don't mind these judgements though, they are doing their job, they don't want a hefty fine and I wouldn't like that either, they could even loose their job if they served inappropriate items to a minor (someone under the age of 18) and knowing I'm old enough doesn't bother me if they should ask such a question.

Being a Mum from the age of 15 gave me a plan for life, my world now revolves around my son, I carried on with my education I got my grades and now I work in a industry I have a passion for, maybe it's not the dream job I always thought about as a child, but maybe my 'dream' job wasn't meant to be. I'm Christian and I believe God plan's everything for us, if I'm happy in what I'm doing (and I totally am) then why should I think about what the future could of been? I'm living the life I'm currently living and I'm taking it one step at a very small time. I don't know what's around the corner, well according to my horoscopes a new pair of slippers will be making a new home in my home soon, so maybe I'll buy a new pair of slippers, maybe I won't.

I'll go into a shop and I'll judge those many pair's of slippers sat on the over filling shelves, them ones are too granny fied for me I say to myself, them ones are so the 70's and them ones are too big, them ones are too floral, too bright, too hard, I judge, I have to judge, if I didn't I'm pretty sure I'd walk around looking like a big oversized raspberry, I love pink but I couldn't wear pink, it doesn't suit my body shape, give me pink lipstick and pink nail varnish and that's me! Something I don't do, and if any of my family and friends are reading this, they will know the answer already, I don't judge people.

What gives me any right to judge anyone? What gives any one the right to judge me? The answer for both of them questions is NOTHING. Nothing gives me the right to judge and nothing gives no one the right to judge me. Everyone in this world has walked their life journey to date, some not so lucky as other's and some who have never had a reason to smile. I feel sorry for the homeless alcoholics and junkies you see on the streets, scruffy faces and holes in their clothes, you wish you could help, show them another life, show them what potential life can have, but its not that easy, its not easy at all.

To help someone, they have to be ready to help themselves and sadly for so many people, the addiction is already done it's worse, it's too late. The girl stood on the corner in the red light district shouldn't be there, but for her body to get the fix of drugs she needs she has to be stood on that corner, no self respect, no values, no morals. I have pride for myself, I have respect, wisdom, knowledge, values and moral's but that doesn't mean I should look at those people with disgust who don't have the same as me. Them once pretty faces now saggy and off colour, gaunt and skinny, they could of had a good life, was they handed that path or did they step onto the wrong path that wasn't destined for them?

I'm not on no high horse, I've never been on one to step down from one, but I'm guilty because I have gave the odd double stare, I've judged when I was younger & called people names I'm not in no way proud of. I had to grow up quickly, I was 15 when I fell pregnant and 15 when I gave birth, to be the Mother I always hoped to be, I needed to change, it didn't come overnight and I still had setbacks but I'm here today, I'm happy, my son's happy. I don't have social sniffing around me like 50% of teenage mothers and have no reason for them to be involved.

My son is my world, he is the reason why my heart is filled with emotion, love and joy. I stare at his pictures of him whilst he's at school (like now), the premature baby who weighed a tiny 4lb who is now MY perfect boy. I've got him to where he is today, a well behaved, polite and caring little boy. Maybe I pushed that Disney addiction onto him too, dressing him in the cute Mickey Mouse baby outfits had an impact on his obsession I'm sure, but who care's. Children should be children for as long as they can.

My amazing supportive parents, don't blame them for me becoming pregnant so young. I was taught right from wrong, I was taught respect, politeness, values, moral's, knowledge, respect, forgiveness & so much more. I rebelled, ME. I'm not paying for no mistake because my son is my world, I don't know any different, I don't want to know any different. When people say to me don't you regret having him so young, don't you wish you waited till you was older, my answer is NO.

What have I missed out on? Drunken alcoholic fuelled weekends? The all night house parties? The string of many boyfriends most girls of my age has had? (You see I'm judging there, stereo typing girls of my age!) Being broke? Travelling the world? Well I can get a baby sitter and get drunk in a club, I could of had plenty of men In mine and my son's life and I can travel the world with my son. I've not lost nothing, I've gained the most amazing experience in the world, parenthood.

Next time you stick your head up when your in a crowded town and someone tries selling you a big issue, don't judge that person, you don't know what life they've led. They could of once been like you and me, her and you, me and you, do you honestly think they wanted to be the way they are? Of course not. Don't judge no one because you never have and never will have the right too.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend and make sure its a safe one with whatever plans you have!

Jade xx
1